7 traits and concepts of Champions
There are stark differences that differentiate the champion from the others. Some additionally attribute their talents, physical abilities, and intellectual skills to those who are champions. I argue that it is his mind that sets him apart from others, not his physical and mental talents.
One can advance the vision of a champion through practice and action. You too can start today!
I have compiled the top 7 traits and concepts of Champions that will pave your way towards a champion mentality.
- Champions have great power
Some champions attribute their success to their conviction. They trust whole heartedly that they are satisfactory at what they do. They additionally believe that they are going to achieve what they are going to achieve. On the other hand, some champions believe that their high power is guiding them and leading them to success. It is his great energy that has given him the critical skills to become a champion.
Without this strong belief, the champion mind cannot exist in itself or in a higher power. Don't use plagiarised sources.Get your custom essay just from $11/page
- Champions are keen students
The champions did not stop learning in any way. No counting the profession, champions try to digest as many tons of facts as possible. They definitely have a newbie mind. They look for opportunities and data that are accessible to them that will serve their purpose in achieving success at a high level. Champion athletes and entrepreneurs have the ability to understand and continue to develop and craft their abilities through practice. There is a strong argument for persistence with his education, which in turn gives him an attitude that seeks non-stop development.
A champion will strive to be enjoyable at whatever they do, regardless of herbal potential, they always understand through gaining knowledge about their craft, they will accomplish themselves and their goals. There is a no longer self-limiting belief in champions. Instead, a champion believes that non-stop knowledge of challenges and opportunities is important to their future.
- Champions are mentally challenged and flexible
A champion’s attitude is ambivalent and strong. Champions exploit the ability to face failures and obstacles, although they have the strong will to succeed and the ability to overcome any kind of disaster. It is his strong belief in himself or higher energy that keeps him mentally adept and flexible. Champions are trying to understand the greatness that is not convenient and they know they will face hurdles and setbacks.
Champions understand that they cannot be cured all the time, but they are dedicated to being honest in life. The champion will improve their ability and motivation to take a cost and full potential when going.
Champions are conscious that they are their own worst enemies.
- Champions have mastered their minds
The champions have practised mindfulness. This skill they are able to tap into the ability to live purposefully in the present times. They are constantly getting their attention around them, alternately being fixed on past and future failures or successes. This mastery requires a keen focal point and the ability to isolate any emotional baggage that will prevent them from accomplishing their goals.
A champion does not allow limiting beliefs or destructive self-talk to discourage them from their path to greatness. He has mastered his idea into a trend that allows only for the thoughts and ideas that serve him to achieve his goals. Champions are consciously conscious of the noise between their ears and cannot achieve anything in their path when they have mastered their minds.
- Champions do not supply – they are committed to the success
Champions no longer give up. Their strong belief in themselves or a higher power always motivates them to pursue adversities and failures. They have developed a mindset of commitment to their success and are willing to sacrifice their time and power to achieve their goals.
We all understand that pro-boxers are some of the hardest working athletes in the world. Do you recognize why? Instead of asking, “How long should I be teaching each day and for each day?” They ask, “How long can I make each day?” You see the difference
The mindset that is rooted and dedicated to success is so strong that it cannot be influenced by the influence of all people or anything.
- Champions have a strong relationship with their body
Regardless of profession or profession, a champion has a strong relationship with their body. Champions are aware of the inner and outer of their physique and appreciate and accept their body desires. He knows what his body needs in order to grow as a character in the direction of being a champion. They are aware of their nutritional and physical desires and the need to continuously enhance their bodies.
They are mind conscious if their body is out of tune, they will not be in a position to work on a highly fashionable one which is necessary to achieve their success.
- Champions have a powerful group supporting them
There is a team behind every champion. Be it a friend, a family, a coach or a mentor, supports anyone who champions a man or woman.
The profession has no count; the champions assist others with the help that can help them in their journey of success with high perception and travel. Champion’s crew are humans who can provide an outsider with experience in a given industry, and their direction for greatness, as well as a connection to pursue them. A champion chooses to engage himself with humans who accept the truth and guide his intention through constantly motivating them and supplying positive feedback.
How Does It Matter?
We usually answer these questions with the help of the top artists to talk about their intelligence. He must be the smartest scientist in the lab. He is faster than everyone on the team. He is a brilliant commercial enterprise strategist.
But I think we are all aware that the story is extra than it is.
In fact, when you start watching it, your talent and your talent don’t play nearly as much a role as you might think. Research studies I have found that intelligence only accounts for 30% of your fulfilment – and it is on the higher end.
Why is mental stability so important? And how can you strengthen it additionally?
Now let’s talk about it.
Mental cruelty and the United States military
Every year, about 1,300 cadets are part of the United States Military Academy, West Point, in the category. During their first summer season on campus, cadets required a full range of brutal tests. The initiation application during this summer is considered internally as the “Beast Barrack”.
You can imagine that cadets who make an impact on the entire Beast Barrack tend to be larger, stronger or cleverer than their peers. Researcher Angela Duckworth of the University of Pennsylvania did something extraordinary when she began supervising the cadets.
Part One: Characteristics of Unbeatable Mindset.
Chapter 1 What Is Mental Toughness?
Before you can begin working on your own mental toughness, you need to know what it means. The concept has been studied since the 1980s and was typically applied to athletes in relation to performance. However, people soon figured out that it wasn’t only sportspeople who could use and benefit from mental toughness. The strategies they developed to become Olympic gold medalists and set world records could be applied in all aspects of life.
What does it mean to be Mentally Tough?
Stress, anxiety, worry, and defeatist attitudes prevent us from achieving our goals and reaching our highest potential. We freeze in our tracks and allow setbacks to define pivotal moments and recall past damage to justify future lack of progress. Mental toughness is about overcoming all the obstacles that we either place before ourselves or are placed before us. It involves learning to cope with life’s challenges in order to succeed.
This gives you an edge in your professional life, personal life, love life, athletic activities, and basically anything else you can think of that requires more than a pulse. Put simply; mental toughness makes you more prepared for life.
Think about your ancestors who lived in a world without all of our modern comforts that not only make life pleasant but also safe. They didn’t have cozy, cushy lives that protected them from any trace of harm. They couldn’t avoid pain because it was a part of life. They displayed the epitome of mental toughness. Hunter/gatherers had to set out into the forest despite the dangers in order to live as well. If they allowed themselves to break down or get taken over by fear, they’d be dead.
Vikings, too, are the perfect example of mental toughness in action. While history likes to remember them as bloodthirsty marauders, in truth, they were incredibly courageous, resilient, and determined individuals who knew that a life half lived is no life at all.
You have the same survival instincts within you. They’ve just been tamped down underneath modern technological marvels. Despite the convenience they offer, they inhibit the core human characteristics that have allowed us to evolve and survive in a world that has been trying to kill us until recently.
Mental toughness is in your head, not your genes, and it certainly doesn’t depend on your physical stature. Physical ‘toughness’ doesn’t have to accompany mental—you can never have set foot in a gym and still be mentally tough. All you need is the “just do it” mentality that Nike has so successfully marketed.
Beyond that, perhaps the best way to describe the toughness mentality and show you just how simple it is to implement is to present you with this quote:
“If you want to be tougher, be tougher.” ━ Jocko Willink, Navy SEAL commander
Scientific Studies
Several studies have been conducted and published, examining what mental toughness is, how it arises, and if it truly offers benefits and can be linked to increased success. Here is a brief overview of some of them.
The “Mental Toughness Advantage”
A 2017 study entitled Mental Toughness and Individual Differences in Learning, Educational and Work Performance, Psychological Well-being, and Personality: A Systematic Review looked at the differences present between individuals said to possess mental toughness and those who did not. It viewed both environmental and genetic factors and concluded that some people seemed to have a “toughness gene” that accounts for a 50% variation. However, aside from a possible genetic component, the study did say that the findings indicated that “positive psychological traits, more efficient coping strategies and positive outcomes in education and mental health” were all associated with mental toughness, which could possibly be leveraged to teach the ‘skill’ (Lin, Mutz, Clough, and Papageorgiou, 2017).
Identifying the Mental Toughness Framework
Since mental toughness was first used to describe the mindset of world champion athletes, it comes as no surprise that they’re the subjects of most studies. One such research from 2007 aimed to identify the “essential attributes” that define mental toughness by interviewing and examining sportspeople, coaches, and sports psychologists. What they found was a quantifiable selection of attributes that were present in mentally tough individuals. These 30 attributes were further divided into four groups: attitude/mindset, training, competition, and post-competition (Hanton & Connaughton, 2007). These findings have been used to create programs that build on the 30 attributes in order to teach mental toughness.
It Takes Grit
An often-cited study in the world of mental toughness, Grit: Perseverance and Passion for Long-Term Goals, found that grit played a significant role in the success of Ivy League undergrads, military cadets, and National Spelling Bee candidates.
As this research has demonstrated, the phenomenon is real. Athletes, Ivy League students, and everyday people benefit from mental toughness. Now, it’s your turn to take advantage of it.
Characteristics of People Who Are Mentally Tough
You know that mental toughness is real and taken seriously by the scientific community. Great! But what does that do for you? Actually, a lot.
You see, while many studies look at the phenomenon, more investigations are still focused on how it can be replicated by identifying key behaviours that the individuals who show mental toughness already possess. Then, we can start to learn how to implement these behaviours in ourselves. Below are some of the characteristics that have been found prevalent in those who display ‘grit’ and have used that to achieve great things. You may recognize some of these traits in successful people around you, to be specific. Finally, you’ll know their secret.
They Don’t Think They Can ━ They Know They Can
Athletes don’t think they might win ━ they know they will.
A real estate agent doesn’t hope they’ll get the deal ━ they know those papers will be signed.
Writers don’t wish for their big break ━ they know their book will be published.
It’s all in their mindset. “Think like a winner” may sound like a piece of advice that you’d give your 4-year-old, but the individuals who display mental toughness have a “winner’s mind.” They don’t imagine failure to be an option, wish or hope, or just “let it be.” They know without a shred of doubt that whatever they’re working towards and anything they want to achieve will come to fruition.
Remove any doubt from your mind that tells you something is too hard or that there’s a chance you won’t get it, regardless of whatever “it” maybe. The moment you let in doubt is the moment your success is in jeopardy. Don’t just think you’ll win. Know you’ll win.
They Have Laser Focus
When you have a big project to work on that you know is due in a couple of days, what do you do? Do you sit down, get to work, and tune out every distraction until you finish or reach a point where you can comfortably say that you can take a break? Or do you sit down, pull up Facebook, and watch a couple of sad videos and then a happy one to make you feel better until you realize it’s lunchtime, then you sit down again, work for about 5 minutes, get bored, and talk to a coworker? You can probably guess which scenario characterizes mental toughness.
The intense focus that’s often described as being “in the zone” seems to come as second nature to mentally tough individuals. They know that there’s work to do, so they do it. They don’t make excuses or seek out distractions. They can work late into the night if need be and are able to produce in massive amounts. What’s their secret?
They just do it. They know they’re not doing themselves any favours by procrastinating, so they don’t.
They Push Past Discomfort
Professional athletes amaze us because of their ability to push their bodies to the very limit ━ something that very few of us will experience in our lifetime. When they’re running on that track or skiing down a mountain, for instance, they know that the goal is to get to the tape or the bottom, respectively. Even if it hurts along the way, even if their muscles are screaming for a break and their lungs burn, they don’t stop.
This ties into the laser focus aspect. Being so focused on your goal that you don’t give up due to a little blood, sweat and tears really defines mental toughness. Pain is supposed to tell us when we’re in danger of injuring ourselves, but many of us have become overly sensitive to the experience. We think that the smallest hint of pain or discomfort is the end of the world, so we stop before finding out how far we can truly push ourselves. This can be physical discomfort from something like a workout or mental discomfort when you’re trying to learn something new or finish a project.
Discomfort will not kill you. If anything, the research shows that it may help you succeed.
They’re ready for anything
Life is inherently unpredictable. That’s part of what makes it both fun and frustrating. However, it doesn’t mean that you’re entirely helpless. You can be prepared for whatever life throws at you because, chances are, you can at least anticipate some of it.
People who are mentally tough are master planners. They look at where they want to be in life and decide how to get there. Then, they think of all the obstacles that may get in the way and devise strategies to go around them. After that, these individuals leave some room in the agenda to prepare for things that they can’t anticipate. No matter what it is, whether you’re applying for a job, working towards a promotion, trying to get your kid’s grades up, or struggling in a college course, if you prepare for every eventuality along the way, you’ll be ready when one comes up. Trust me, it will.
Now, this doesn’t mean that the people who are mentally tough are inflexible. On the contrary, being prepared also means being ready to alter course if the winds change. It’s all about being ready to take action when and if there’s an action to take.
They Make Consistent Efforts
Mentally tough people don’t push themselves one week and then take the next week off. Athletes don’t stop training after they’ve won. It’s all about being consistent and putting in as much effort when you win as you do when you lose, even when you don’t want to. Nevertheless, more on that later.
They Don’t Break Down After Failure
Everyone knows Thomas Edison’s famous quote about creating a working light bulb. He embodied mental toughness and didn’t stop after one failure. Or three. Or 20. He knew that every failure gave him valuable information. Others who are mentally tough do the same. Failure is always possible, even when we don’t want it to be. Many of us fear failing and look at it as a reflection of ourselves and of something lacking within us.
This isn’t the case with the mentally tough people, though. They know failure is another way of saying “wrong way.” If something didn’t work, there’s a reason for it, and they’ll find out what that reason is so that they know better next time. If you’re not learning anything, it means that you’re not trying anything. If you never fail, you haven’t tried. To become mentally tough, use your failures as the foundation for your next success.
They’re Brave
This is something that many of us have no experience with, considering it’s hardly required anymore unless we have jobs that involve life-or-death situations. To be mentally tough, you have to be brave. However, what does that mean?
Bravery and courage are not the absence of fear but the overcoming of it. Fear stops us from doing so many things, whether that’s asking someone on a date, applying for a job we really want but aren’t quite qualified for, or moving somewhere new that offers better opportunities. Fear makes us live false lives.
If fear still exists in our modern society, why can’t bravery? Why can’t you look at what scares you, acknowledge it, and then keep on moving? That’s bravery. It doesn’t always involve saving people from burning buildings or charging into the enemy’s territory. Sometimes, for some people, leaving the house is an act of bravery. Whatever bravery means to you, make sure you live it.
Both fear and bravery live within your mind. You can make one stronger than the other.
How Mentally Tough Are You?
Before we get into the meat of the book and talk about how to develop mental toughness and apply it to situations in life, you need to evaluate where you’re at. This same quiz will be repeated at the end of the book, so make sure you answer honestly so that your comparison is accurate. Only then will you know how far you’ve come.
Keep track of your answer because you’re going to add up your total score at the end. If you feel like more than one answer applies to you, go with whichever happens more often.
A = 10 points, B = 5 points, C= 1 point
Question 1: When you’re given a big project or task that you know will take a lot of time and effort, what do you do?
- Buckle down and work and take occasional breaks, but get right back to it afterwards (consistent effort).
- Work hard for a while and then start to peeter out, take breaks, and end up with slow progress.
- Procrastinate until the last second and then rush to get it all done.
Question 2: When something goes wrong or you experience a setback, what do you do?
- Evaluate why it went wrong and if there is anything that can be learned from the situation, then move on.
- Spend a while feeling bad about it and wondering why you have such bad luck and only let it go when something good happens to counteract it.
- Feel defeated and stop trying for a while, figuring your next efforts will be rewarded with the same disappointment.
Question 3: When faced with the choice to either progress by doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable (but is neither illegal nor dangerous) or let the opportunity pass you by, which one do you choose?
- Go for it. Discomfort is all in the mind, and you don’t get anywhere by staying in your comfort zone.
- After mulling it over for a while and realizing you can’t make a decision, you decide not to decide.
- Let the opportunity go ━ you’re not ready for it. After all, there will be another one. Right?
Question 4: When you’re competing for something, be it a job or in a sporting event, what’s your mindset like?
- I know without a doubt that I will emerge victorious. There’s no other option than to win.
- I have my doubts, but overall I think I’ll get the job or win the competition.
- I’m not confident about the outcome. I want to win, but I don’t really think I can.
Question 5: Do you think you’re brave?
- Of course, I am. I have fears, but I move past them.
- I think so. In some cases, it happens when there’s nothing too scary but I’m a little bit afraid.
- Not really. Fear makes me stop whatever I am doing or want to do.
Score between 40 and 50: Why are you reading this book? You’ve got mental toughness in the bag!
Score between 25 and 40: You’re getting there. You have some qualities that display mental toughness, but there’s room for improvement.
Score between 20 and 25: You most likely want to be mentally tough, but you’re having trouble implementing the mentality in everyday life. Too many scenarios still make you uncomfortable, and fear holds you back as well. You’ll benefit a lot from this book, so keep on reading.
Score below 20: You may have gotten into some bad habits that have now become a lifestyle. It’s time to wipe the slate clean. While you may have lived your life small in the past and not known how to break out of the rut, you’ll soon learn. Keep going because your life is going to change.
Chapter 2 Components and Marker of Mental Toughness
There is a saying that goes, “The difference between a successful person and those who are not is not the lack of knowledge, neither the lack of strength but the lack of will”.
Mental toughness can be defined as a personality trait that enables an individual to effectively face and overcome challenges, pressure, and stressors and still manage to perform at his best in spite of the situation he finds himself in.
There are four components of mental toughness: Control, Commitment, Confidence, and Challenge. These four components are measured to gauge a person’s mental toughness, using the MTQ48 method. This method of measurement is the only reliable, quick and accurate method of assessing an individual’s capability to withstand challenges and pressure in a broader range of circumstances. However, the four components will be discussed here:
- Control: Control is all about the influence that the person exerts on an individual and the amount of will he directs towards himself. A person who is in control of his surroundings can influence the people in his environment to think and act like him or to agree with him. Mentally tough people score higher because they have the ability to control their emotion and use this ability to achieve their goals. They can also control how people will react to them so they are always at an advantage.
- Emotional control: Mentally tough people are able to keep their emotions to themselves. They are able to hide their emotional state from other people and manage to show a poker face to hide their feelings. These people are very hard to read and they can be really strong emotionally. They do not get upset easily and they can stay calm and relaxed even when in a stressful environment.
- Life control: Mentally tough people can control their lives. They are driven and inspired so they can do what they want in their life. They believe that they are able to make a difference and that their lives will impact other people’s lives as well. They think they are important and their self-esteem is very high.
- Commitment: This is the ability of the person to ‘stick’ to his promises and goals. Mentally tough people are not easily distracted. It is not very easy to divert their attention. They are extremely focused on their goal and they are committed to achieve them. They come on time, they practice and exercise regularly, they maintain a healthy lifestyle and they stick to their routines. When they make a promise to themselves and to other people, they make sure that they fulfill them. They are true to their words and they will do anything to stick to them. When they say something, they mean it. That’s how committed mentally tough people are. They just don’t budge.
- Confidence: Confidence is a key factor in mental toughness. A person who is not confident cannot be mentally tough. In order for you to strive harder, you have to be confident in your own abilities and in other people. Mentally tough people know their own strengths and weaknesses. They don’t need other people’s approval for them to know what they are capable of because they know they are doing well. They believe in themselves. They believe that whatever task is assigned to them, they will be able to deliver and complete it with flying colors. They always have a say in everything. They are very opinionated and they can trust people as well.
- Confidence in ability: Confidence in ability refers to the individual’s belief in his own talents and capabilities. He believes that he can do something better than everyone else can. He believes that he is good at something. He has faith in what he can do and he is always geared towards success because he always gives everything for the achievement of his goals.
- Confidence in people: This type of confidence allows mentally tough people to trust their friends, teammates, colleagues and family members. Confidence in people enables a group to perform as one. They are not easily influenced and intimidated. They are very assertive.
- Challenge: This component refers to how a person responds to challenges. Does he see challenges as stumbling blocks or opportunities? Mentally tough people see challenges as opportunities to showcase their talents. They look at every challenge as a stepping stone to show people what they are capable of. Mentally tough people are more than inspired and motivated to push harder towards their goals. They don’t give up easily and instead, they strive to be better constantly. They consider challenges to be positive chances for self-development. They welcome these with willingness to improve and for every difficulty they encounter, they learn something good from it. Mentally tough people are able to move forward. They don’t commit the same mistakes twice.
The 6 Markers of Mental Toughness
In both business and sports, mental toughness plays a very crucial role in determining the success or failure of the team or the enterprise. Here are at least 6 markers of mental toughness:
- 1. Responsiveness: Engagement and connection are very important in business and in sports. Players need to be engaged in order for the team to serve its purpose. Connection is needed so they can move as one. No matter how good the players are, if they are not connected with one goal in mind, their game will be thrown off balance. When it comes to business, employers need to always communicate with their employees. The engagement of every employee to the task assigned to them contributes to the success of the entire organization. Mentally tough people are responsive. They react and respond appropriately to what is expected of them. Leaders need to be ready to respond to the changes and demands of the current times. Otherwise, their venture will not bear fruit.
- Flexibility/adaptability: One of the greatest traits a mentally tough person can possess is the ability to adapt to his environment. Flexibility allows an individual to remain calm and able to adapt amidst extreme circumstances. Even if the situation is tough, mentally tough people are able to maintain their cool and are not easily swayed. They are able to come up quick and good ideas to meet the current demands of the situation. Mentally tough people should also be open to re-educating themselves to learn new technology, principles, systems and inventions. They should be objective and not closed minded. If there is something that needs to be changed, mentally tough people can adjust and apply the changes where necessary.
- Ethics and courage: Sports and business are indeed very challenging. The environment is demanding and competition is extremely tough. In this environment, it is quite common for some people to practice unethical procedures just to go on top of the corporate ladder. Mentally tough people, however, will never resort to unethical standards to achieve their goal. They will work hard to earn the position they are aiming for. They will never do anything that will destroy their principles. Mentally tough people are courageous people. They stand for what they believe in and they are not afraid to cite injustice in their surroundings.
- Strength: Despite many adversities and even when the circumstances are not favorable to them, mentally tough people are still able to deliver extraordinary performance. They are strong in mind, body and spirit and they don’t give up easily. They strive harder than everyone else to achieve their goals. Even disabilities cannot stop them. In business, mentally tough leaders execute force to keep the business running and they also resist force when the odds are against them. Being a leader requires that you do not budge easily and stand for what you think is right. If a leader cannot resist some negative force, he cannot protect his subordinates and his position.
In sports, on the other hand, it is very important that athletes are strong in mind and body. Intensive training is always a necessity and if they are not physically strong, they cannot last long inside the game. Even when they are too tired to move on and continue, they have to use their strong mind to ‘force’ them to keep moving. The mind is so powerful that it can still keep the athlete going even when the body can no longer continue.
- Sportsmanship: In both sports and business, sportsmanship plays an important role. In every competition there is always a winner and a loser. A mentally tough individual knows when to accept defeat and recognizes the ability of the other. Each team member will have to support each other in order for them to win. And no matter what the result may be, they will have to celebrate victory together or accept defeat together. It is useless to blame each other. And point fingers at one another.
- Resiliency: Resiliency goes hand in hand with flexibility. In terms of defeat, disappointments, bankruptcy and failure, mentally tough individuals should be able to bounce back and start all over again. They have to be resilient so they can still stand back up after the storm in their lives pass. They should be able to endure the difficult times. This is an important time for optimism to play its part. Optimism allows an individual to be resilient. They believe that there is something better in store for them and that they deserve to be on top of the game after they have lost. This kind of mentality shows resiliency. Everyone makes a mistake; what matters is how we rebound from our mistakes and make up for it.
Chapter 3 Mental Toughness for Success in Life.
The fact is that the larger proportion of the global population finds it difficult to succeed in life. No matter where you live, what you do or the opportunities that come your way, success always eludes the majority. The problems are not where we live or what we have in our hands; the problem lies in each individual’s ability to gather up his mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical capabilities that could enable him to push ahead. The fact, however, is that the struggle only gets worse with time.
The world population is continuously growing, and so is the number of people fighting to succeed. People are coming up with ideas and strategies to convince us that they have acquired the solution to life while in fact, they are only adding to the confusion that is simmering in our brains. It becomes even harder to find your way through life’s murky waters, to succeed in life. The uncertainty is making it harder to succeed in life and to achieve our goals.
Still, others seem to have reached the peak of the proverbial mountain. These are the gurus of our time, and they seem to have figured it out. These people talk of the limited scope of success and swear by certain principles and a particular way of thinking that should embolden us so that we are able to reach the heights they have. This way of thinking merely involves re-aligning and strengthening your mind to be able to overcome all the hurdles that life could throw at you.
Right before we look at the strategies you can take up to strengthen your mind so that you can achieve success in life, let’s briefly examine some of the common things that set us back in life. They include:
- Setting your goals the wrong way– There is a proper way and there is a wrong way of setting your goals. The right way should be the SMART way because it allows you to plan, act, and analyze the progress you have made. The better you are at analyzing your progress and keeping track of things down to the most intricate details, the more likely you are to succeed.
- Failure to manage your time effectively– Most people do not succeed because they like to indulge in comforts and in laziness, which invokes their bad habits. Time is a valuable asset that once wasted cannot be recovered, which means that once it is lost, you do not get a chance to retrieve it.
- Listening to the opinions of others– When you listen to people enough, you are likely to do what they say. However, deep down in yourself, you know that you are destined for things bigger than their opinions of you. It is also difficult if you are around negative people. When you focus on what others think, you lose your drive and will continuously depend on them for direction, which could mislead you extensively.
- Allowing bad habits to overtake you– Everyone has a dark side, but others allow it to take over instead of overcoming it. You overcome bad habits by continuously working hard to improve and to make things better. It takes time to overcome a bad habit; don’t expect overnight success.
- Giving up instead of being persistent– Honestly, failure stinks! It is one of the worst feelings in the world, and it will make you question many things, including your existence. However, the fact is that failure will either drive you to do better or it will stifle you. Many of the world’s champions have experienced failure many times in their lives, but they did not allow it to bury them. When you give up, all the effort and work you put in goes down with you. Therefore, whatever you do, keep pushing on, a little bit at a time.
The Secret Is In Cultivating Positivity
From the list of things above that derail us, you must have noted that each item has some negativity tied to it. In a world that is seemingly mostly negative, maintaining positivity can be quite a task. It is so much easier to complain, throw blame, and incline yourself to more gloom and doom. It probably is the reason why many of us suffer from various forms of mental health issues, from stress to depression, and others.
A blogger recently reported about a Facebook post he saw recently. The post announced the upcoming arrival of about a thousand new high-paying job openings. The jobs would be available in the blogger’s locality, and on viewing it, he could not hold his excitement and began to share the information with others who would be qualified and interested in the new job openings. However, after about an hour, he returned to the Facebook post and was petrified by what he saw.
Instead of people being grateful for the new opportunities, the people were now complaining about the location of the offices. People were concerned about how much the state government would be spending to allow the reputable company to operate in the space it had been offered. Others questioned the legitimacy of the jobs, yet the unemployment rate in that area was hitting the roof.
The blogger was amazed that although the post brought good news, a majority of the people only focused on the cost of the project and other negative factors, instead of being happy that the new company would solve the unemployment issues in the area. The blogger was also stunned to see that he was exactly like the people he was criticizing: he only focused on the negative comments and ignored the positive ones that welcomed the move.
From this story, we can see just how success divides between the positive and the negative. There will be positives for every negative, and negative for every positive. Whatever you focus on will determine whether you will achieve success or not. This is to mean that the mentally tough people, those who are able to tune out the negatives and appreciate the positives, are the ones that will find success, or rather, success finds them. Success, in this case, becomes the ability to live life without the influence of negative forces, thus achieving lasting happiness.
Why You Need Mental Strength to Achieve Success
Mental toughness is not a reserve for athletes only. It applies to every area of life. To achieve this success, you need to apply these eight lessons:
- Avoid Whining; It Wastes Time
When working to accomplish something, time will not be on your side. You only have a window of opportunity, and this is not infinite either. Mentally tough people will, therefore, spend the limited time they have acting, and not reacting. In the course of performing, you are likely to encounter setbacks too. When it does happen, give it a constructive response, and quickly get back on track. Give no room to grumbling, complaining, whining, or criticizing.
- Maintain Control
A mentally tough person will act as though he is in control of his environment, even when he isn’t. This is not pretentious; he does this to maintain his cool in the midst of pressure or adversity.
Control does not depend on luck; it is likely that a solution will even appear in the moment. However, a mentally tough individual will keep striving, no matter what comes against him.
- Trust is Critical
For a person to experience success, he must express a hope that he will reach his goal, even though he encounters mistakes and failures along the way. This confidence is born by a strong mind that believes in its ability to conquer, even when the situation gets a little too tough.
A big contributor toward gaining and maintaining this level of confidence is surrounding yourself with people that believe in your ability. Negative people will only lower your faith, and reduce your chances of achieving success.
- Mistakes are Common
The underlying factor in all these is that you are human. Just like anyone else, you make mistakes. However, the tough-minded do not let the mistakes get in the way of them achieving success. Worrying, reliving and dwelling on mistakes does not help you in any way, but neither will ignoring them. Find the middle ground, where you remember them only enough to learn lessons from them. Let your past guide you, but not define you.
- Be Willing To Put In the Work
Succeeding in life requires that you spend time, a considerable amount of it, on a particular task. Mental toughness helps you maintain your focus so that you do not give divided attention. Realistically, you know that there is no way you can achieve worthwhile success overnight. However, if you remain focused on a particular task and give it all your energy and concentration, you are likely to realize what others couldn’t have.
Without hours and hours of training, it is unlikely that runners and other sportspersons would achieve the success they did. They accepted their situation and persevered through. People who want to succeed do not always seek easier ways out; they are glad to put in the effort.
- Continually Innovate
Successful people are open to many options. Many of these roads are those that are less traveled, and they can be slightly nerving. It takes a tough mind to push past that uncertainty, walk past familiar grounds and create a new trail. An achiever doesn’t depend on the familiar path; they look for new options that can lead to innovative solutions and practices.
While being in an unchartered territory can be uncomfortable, and without mental toughness, you may start doubting your moves. You may even choose to retrace your steps. If you do, you will only go as far as others have gone. However, this is not the path of the successful.
- Able To Give Back
A majority of the people who feel the need to give back to the society are those who feel empowered enough to make a difference. The need to give back strengthens your mental toughness because it motivates you to put in positive efforts to succeed. For example, volunteering increases your self-confidence and makes you feel more socially-connected and less susceptible to depression and isolation. The gratitude others present when they receive help enables you to reach higher levels of mental strength.
- Filter the Noise
Technology has brought new kinds of distractions in the form of live chats, videos, emails, text messages, and news feeds that are a source of noise throughout the day. So long as you are interacting with others, you are bound to fall for these distractions from time to time. A strong mind can filter through the clatter so that the person can concentrate on what is essential. This is easier said than done. However, the person needs to put down his phone, silence his alerts, and avoid getting back to his devices, even when bored.
Mental toughness is what will bring you back to the table when the recess time is over; it is what gets you to cut short a chat with friends to get back to the business of the day.
As you can see, every extraordinary performance demands a person to be in his personal best, and with all the distractions around, the secret to pushing through is to become mentally tough.
Increasing Your Mental Strength for Success in Life
To make your mind tougher and stronger, you need to practice a few things. First, you should know how to label your feelings and emotions correctly. When you put a name to what you are feeling, you decrease its intensity.
Therefore, whenever you have negative emotions, determine whether they are emotions of anxiety, fright, sadness, or anger. It is also important that you observe how the particular emotion affects how you perform your role. Does anxiety cause you to take unnecessary risks? Does excitement cause you to be impulsive?
When you are aware of your emotions, you are less likely to make irrational decisions because you realize what could be driving you.
Secondly, you should come up with a new and healthy way of dealing with painful emotions. Correctly identifying and naming your emotions is not enough to accord you with the skills you need to regulate the emotions you have. You need to have an effective coping mechanism to serve as an outlet for the emotions you have.
Some people turn to unhealthy coping methods like overindulging in food, drinking, venting, or staying home, and these do not provide a permanent solution. They may provide the temporary relief you need at the moment, but the issues will still come up later. Instead of looking for temporary solutions, focus on those that will do you good even in the long-term and not wreak havoc on your relationships, health or the tasks you are handling. Kindly remember that what works for one person may not necessarily work for you.
If you want to find out the strategy that suits you best, experiment with a number of them, until you settle on one. These strategies could include meditation, exercising, some time alone with nature, and various forms of art.
Thirdly, work towards replacing all the negative thought patterns you might have developed. Your thoughts directly influence your behaviors. Therefore, when you start thinking things like, “I am so stupid,” you are robbed of the mental strength you need to make changes. Therefore, to get the tough winning mind, monitor your thoughts very closely, identify patterns and themes, and try to talk yourself out of the negativity.
To all the irrational and unproductive thoughts, respond with something helpful. Therefore, instead of thinking about how you are going to embarrass yourself making the presentation, see the presentation as an opportunity to showcase your public speaking talent, or your ability to innovate by coming up with unforeseen solutions to problems.
Fourthly, you should always ensure that any action you take is positive. Therefore, train your brain to think in that direction, always. Do the things that are difficult to do, and maintain consistency in what you are doing. You will find out that you are stronger than you thought you are.
In line with that, ensure that you take up healthy habits too. Eat a balanced diet, sleep plenty, be grateful always, and exercise regularly. When you do that, you maintain your body at its best which also suggests that your brain will be at its best too, ready to make decisions.
As you do this, ensure that you associate only with people who encourage you and challenge you to be your best. An environment of support helps to increase the strength and toughness of the spirit and the mind.
Lastly, you need to keep off bad habits that drain your mental muscles. If you are still practicing the unhealthy habits, the good ones do not help one bit. It is like eating double cheeseburgers after going out for a run. The negative habits rob you of the progress you had already made, and the mental strength you had developed previously. However, once you notice them, replace each of them with positive and healthy alternatives. Once you do that, you will be able to move forward and achieve your goals.
Chapter 4 How The Mind Work.
How Does Our Memory Works
Working memory has to do with taking incoming information and being able to manipulate it although it is limited in storage space and time that we can work with information, it is one way that we process incoming data. Long term memory involves declarative and non-declarative memories the first being it requires conscious processing in order to bring it back to the forefront while the latter does not require conscious processing.
The way memories are formed is that it involves connections between nerve cells. As the nerves fire together, it ends up wiring together over time. The more often a memory is acted upon, the more likely those nerve cells are going to fire together and wire together. The greater the network we use to activate a certain memory, the more likely it will be able to recall.
In order to store a memory, we first need to encode it. Then it gets stored in multiple places in the brain and retrieve it whenever the opportunity arrives that we have to use that information. An interesting part during the memory encoding stage of any information is, the memory is being deconstructed at this stage and parts of the memory that deal with visual cues will go to certain memory spots, then the memory that deals with the sound will go to another. Our brain then reconstructs a memory in order to retrieve it as a whole.
Short-term memory is stored in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. What occurs when we are processing this type of memory is that we need eight seconds of uninterrupted time in order to get information into short-term memory. We have a limited amount of information we can sort through at any one time; on average it could be up to seven pieces of information. Although we may be able to increase that amount by chunking information together, it will still be limited in both time and capacity amount of information we can work with.
Procedural memories which are the memories of movements and coordination occur in the cerebellum. Emotional memories are stored in an area of the brain known as the amygdala which is part of the limbic system.
There are several factors whether or not a learner will retain information.
The primacy/recency effect deals with the fact that we will remember things we learned first and last in a sequence.
The length of the teaching episode makes a difference. An average of twenty minutes is a good amount of time to learn a content or a new concept.
Methods of teaching matters. The more active the teaching method is, the better.
Practice and Rehearsal over time. The more distributed the practice is conducted, the better. A mass practice is not as effective for long-term memory. There are several ways we can rehearse information: the rote rehearsal and elaborative rehearsal. Rote rehearsal is where we memorize something exactly as we learned it – like the multiplication table or the alphabet. The elaborate rehearsal involves the usage of the information in multiple contexts. The more context we use the information in, the more likely we will be able to retrieve that information later.
Elaborative rehearsal strategies involve strategies that engage multiple modes of learning – visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. If we utilize these in our learning journey, there is a bigger chance that we will retain what it is that we have been trying to learn. Paraphrasing, note-taking, predicting, questioning, and summarizing are some strategies that fit the category of elaborative rehearsal.
The Cone of Learning was developed by Edgar Dale to get at the different kinds of activities that involve and incorporate the participation of the learner that may lead to greater retention.
The items listed on the top of this pyramid get less level of involvement, therefore, less retention. While the items listed at the bottom of the pyramid require more involvement by the learner and therefore yield to more retention.
Once we have retained the information, regardless of the type of memory, we are going to need to retrieve it at some time in order to make use of it. The encoding information happens on the left hemisphere of the brain whereas, the right hemisphere is active in the retrieval process of the information. We can retrieve memory or information through recognition or recall. In recognition, we are just matching the external stimulus to the information we have stored in our brain. On the other hand, recall requires us to search long term memory; retrieve and consolidate that information and decode it back into working memory before we can use it. It is more challenging to recall information than it is to recognize the information.
There are varieties of factors that affect the retrieval of information:
- Adequacy of Cues
- Mood of Retriever
- Context of Retrieval
- Systems of Storage
The cues that are used in assisting us to retrieve information, if it is adequate enough it will help us find that information. In terms of the mood of the retriever, it affects the retrieval process in a way that the mood sometimes is used as a cue and will retrieve memories that are associated with that same mood or emotion, an example of this is if a person is sad then most memories that tend to rise up on the surface are somber memories. The context of the retrieval makes a difference if learned the information in one context and retrieve it in a similar context we are more likely to remember it. Then the system of storage, some people are able to retrieve information because they can make more connections with prior knowledge and therefore can access that information easily. Some people need additional wait time in order to process information because it is not easy to retrieve for them due to the lack of prior experiences to connect the information to.
Our ultimate goal whenever we try to educate ourselves is transfer of learning from one context to another. We have to make a conscious effort to find out whether we can make the transfer from what we have learned from prior experiences to the new learning as well as trying to apply what we have learned in a different context which is the transfer of learning.
Mental Energy
In a recent study, researchers have linked mental energy to physiological energy through the differences that took place in the body’s blood pressure. In this particular study, they gauged the participants’ baseline blood pressure. The participants were then given a set of tasks throughout the study.
An interesting pattern has emerged, when the participants were assigned with a difficult task, to the point that they believe it was unattainable, the level of their blood pressure either remain the same or went down. However, when the same set of participants were unknowingly given a different task but this time it was an achievable one, their systolic blood pressure went higher.
What the study has shown is how being highly energized on the mental level in order to materialize a goal generates physiological energy. That energy is demonstrated through a shift in blood pressure as well as in greater potential to accomplish a physical task.
We have the natural ability to spark countless firings of neurons. To increase your mental energy by stimulating your brain, there are several ways to do this:
- Practice Self-Awareness
It is convenient to just go about our day and we end up focusing on the things that drains us. It is easy to focus on the negativity that is surrounding us. However, being self-aware means we also have to step back and think about how we are affecting not just ourselves but also everyone else and everything around us through our actions. Self-awareness gives you the avenue to monitor energy level.
- Meditation
This is the practice that allows you to bring your mind to rest. The emotions that we go through daily, no matter how big or small, it could be draining on our energy. Meditation can help bring clarity into your mind. There is no perfect method of doing a meditation, it can vary. Some prefer to do it at the end of the day, while others would like to do it in the morning.
- Being physically active
It can be hard for a lot of people to commit not just to work out program, let alone start to get physically active. Be kind to yourself. No one knows you better than yourself. If your body can only do five to seven minutes of any physical activity every day, that is great. Let endorphins work its magic throughout your day.
- Managing powerful emotions
Powerful emotions can be one of the most energy-draining things to affect not only our mind, but it could even make us physically tired. Strong and powerful emotions can manifest in various forms: anger, fear, hatred, envy, these are some examples that when left uncontrolled, it can easily take over the best of us.
Other activities you can try:
- Have a chat with a person you look up to or admire
Experience can be a great teacher. Having the courage to speak to someone you look up to or a smart person can give you lots of insights into things you haven’t even thought about. Use this opportunity to learn from the other person, there is no need to impress anyone else.
- Read something new
Reading about topics that you do not typically engage with may help you to have a wider perspective in life and have a better understanding of others. Changing your reading pattern once in a while can lead to a steak of new ideas.
- Seek new views
Falling into routines can be so convenient, there is nothing wrong with that too. However, once in a while let yourself go to places you have not been to before. It could be as simple as changing your lunch plans once a week or once a month. When time permits, taking a different route when you drive to or from work. Visit a local museum. That place you have been meaning to go to forever now is the time to do it. A new experience can spark mental energy and can be exciting too.
- Give that crossword or puzzle a chance
The ability to solve problems can be fulfilling. Using puzzles, crosswords, or other similar mind games lets you practice deductive reasoning and critical thinking. If you do not finish the full crossword puzzle, that’s alright. There is no reason to be hard on yourself.
- Let the sun shines
Letting yourself see and feel the sun for a few minutes each day helps your body’s natural clock or its circadian rhythm. This can contribute to better sleep and help with one’s mood. Circadian rhythms also have a strong influence on our body’s ability to process pain sensitivity, set the tone for our mental alertness, and may even affect our physical strength and other senses. The sun is also the main factor for Seasonal Affective Disorder, a type of depression when the day is shorter, a person tends to develop an immense amount of sadness and loss of energy. Whenever the human body is exposed to the sun’s rays, it increases the flow of release of our brain’s serotonin. This is the body’s natural chemical that is in charge of boosting our mood and could also help with calmness and bring us focus mindedness.
- Drink your water
The market today is saturated with “zero-calorie” drinks, however, nothing beats the power of drinking just plain water. Aside from the physical benefits water brings, it has been observed how dehydration may influence a person’s mood and ability to think with clarity. Considering our body is made up mostly by water, our brain cells need a deft balance between various elements and water to operate. When there is not enough water in your body, the balance needed to make your brain work seamlessly may be interrupted. Your brain cells may lose its ability to function to its maximum potential.
Chapter 5 How Do You Develop Mental Toughness
Have you ever questioned what makes someone a desirable athlete? Or an outstanding leader? Or a true parent? Why do some humans fulfill their desires while others fail?
How does it matter?
Usually, we answer these questions about the intelligence of the artists of Shikhar. He needs to be the smartest scientist in the lab. He is faster than everyone else on the team. He is a tremendous business strategist.
But I think we all understand that there is more to the story than that.
In fact, when you start looking for it, your intelligence and your talent don’t play nearly as big a role as you would possibly think. The lookup research I’ve done says that only 30% of your success is money – and that too at the higher end.
What is more influence than intelligence or intelligence? Mental toughness.
Research is beginning to reveal that your intellectual stability – or “patience” as they name it – exhibits a more necessary position in the health, business, and life than anything else to achieve your desires. We do. This is fair news because it is not much you can do about the genes you were born with, although you can do a lot to increase intellectual toughness.
Our speculation is that grit is integral to the immense fulfillment developed for the duration of interviews with professionals in investment banking, painting, journalism, education, medicine, and law. Asked how celebrities perform in their respective fields, these men and women regularly mentioned talent as grit or a synonym. In fact, many were awakened through the achievements of friends who no longer looked as talented as others before, but whose dedication to their ambitions was ever extraordinary. Likewise, many cute surprises that eccentrically talented peers no longer end up in the topmost regions of their field.
You have all the possibilities in your own experiences. Remember your palace who spewed your talent? How about the man or woman on your crew who squeezes the most from their potential? Have you identified someone who was once set on engaging in a goal, no matter how long it took?
You can read the entire search here, but this is the backside line:
At every place in life – from your training to your work – it is your patience, mental fortitude, and perseverance that make your degree of success greater than any of the different components we can find.
In other words, the brain is exaggerated.
What makes someone mentally difficult?
It is outstanding to talk about mental fortitude, patience, and perseverance… but what do these cases certainly look like in the real world?
In a word, grit longevity and equal consistency.
Mentally challenged athletes are more consistent than others. They do not go over workouts. They do not leave assignments. They constantly withdraw their peers.
Mentally challenged leaders are more stable than their peers. Their clear goal is to work every day. They do not prevent short-term gains, poor response or stress schedules to keep up with the march towards their vision. They create a dependency on the creation of humans – making them no longer only once, but again and again.
Mentally difficult artists, writers, and staff supply on a more regular basis than most. They work on a schedule, not now when they are motivated. They do their work like a pro, no longer an amateur. They do the most important work first and do not perform shirky responsibilities.
The good news is that patience and perseverance can be your defining traits, regardless of the brain you are born with. You can emerge more and more coherently. You can increase supernatural levels of mental toughness.
How?
In my experience, these three strategies work well in the real world…
- Define what mental longevity potential is for you.
The West Point is intended to be mentally difficult for Navy cadets, completing the entire summer of the barrack barracks.
For you, it can be…
Missing a workout, a month apart
In a week try to not eat packaged or processed food.
Keep your work ahead of the agenda for two consecutive days
Meditate every morning this week
Grinding one additional representative on each set at the fitness center today
Call a friend to capture every Saturday this month
Every week in the week every hour doing something creative
Mental toughness is a summative property, although in the real world it is tied to concrete actions. You can’t walk magically to be mentally tough, you can prove it by the way you do something in real life.
Which brings me to my second point…
- A mental ambush is constructed with a little physical victory.
You cannot be devoted or stable with a weak mind. How many minds have you worked because your mind, now your body has exhausted you? How many remnants have you left because you think, “Nine representatives are enough.” Don’t worry about the tenth. “Probably for most people, including myself.” And 99% is due to the weakness of mind, no longer body.
-Drew Shamrock
So regularly we assume that mental state is about how we respond to extreme situations. How did you work in the championship game? Can you collectively hold your lifestyle while mourning the death of a family member? Did you do a low back jump after your venture went bankrupt?
There is no doubt that intense situations test our courage, perseverance and intellectual longevity… but what about daily circumstances?
Mental stability is like a muscle. It aspires to grow and be ready to grow. If you do not advance yourself in your own hundreds of small ways, the path you go through will be when it is really difficult.
But this should not happen.
Choose to do the tenth rep when it will be easier to do just nine. Choose to make when it would be simple to consume. Choose to ask as many questions as possible when accepting will be less complicated. Prove to yourself – in a thousand small ways – that you have enough guts to get into the ring and make war with life.
Mental longevity is created with small wins. It is the man or woman we build on a day to day basis that builds our “mental ambulance muscle”. We all favor intellectual power, although you cannot make it your way. It is your physical tricks that prove your metal destiny.
- Mental persistence is about your habits, no longer your motivation.
Inspiration is fickle. Willpower comes and goes.
Mentally incomprehensible about getting an amazing dose of thought or courage. It is about building each day’s habits that enable you to stick to a time table and overcome repeated challenges and distractions.
Mentally challenged humans should not be more courageous, more talented, or smarter – just more consistent. Mentally rigid humans promote structures that help to focus on essential goods, regardless of the limitations they face. It is their habits that shape the foundations of their mental beliefs and subsequently separate them.
I have written about many examples of this before. In addition to performing every step here, there are fundamental steps to building a new addiction and hyperlinks in data.
- Start by building your identity.
- Focus on small behaviors, no longer life-changing changes.
- Develop a movement that takes place regardless of how motivated you feel.
- Stick to the time table and ignore the results.
- When you slip away, go to the song again as soon as possible.
- Mental stability reduces your habits. It is about doing the matters that you think you are going to do on an additional stable basis. It is about your dedication to each day’s practice and your ability to stick to a schedule.
To reinforce and sustain the various types of intellectual cruelty that needs success, it is essential that you keep your thoughts and self-talk good and avoid habits that lead to negativity and unhealthy behavior.
The strongest humans are no longer the ones who show lightning in front of us, but the battles they fight do not see us fighting in any way.
Help protect your self-esteem, prepared for anything, the right habits of your thinking and attitude tomorrow will come through training:
- Emotional stability. Leadership often requires that you make appropriate decisions under pressure. It is essential that you remain purposeful and provide an equal degree of overall performance regardless of what you are feeling.
- Perspective. When you turn against the world, mental power elevates you. Learn to preserve your troubles at the appropriate point with the view of giving up what you want to accomplish.
- Readiness for change. If the alternative is honestly the only constant, flexibility and adaptability are among the most important traits you can develop.
- Detachment. You can get the throttle setback and become even stronger if you can keep it in mind that it is no longer about you. Why don’t I take things in my mind or waste time? Instead, focus on what you can control.
- Strength less than stress. Maintain flexibility in facing terrible pressures through developing your ability to deal with worrying situations.
- Preparing for challenges. Life and commercial enterprises are full of daily demands, occasional crises, and unexpected diversions. Make sure you have the assets for expert and non-public crises that you are facing later or later.
- Focus. Keep your focus on the long-term results to remain stable in the face of real or attainable obstacles.
- Right mindset towards failures. Complications, unexpected aspect effects, and complete failures are all part of the scenario. Minimize damage, analyze instructions that will help you in the future, and move forward.
- Self-recognition. Don’t worry about making others happy: it’s a hit-or-miss proposition for all and sundry but the worst kind of wafer. Instead, make a focused effort to do what is appropriate and to understand what you stand for.
- Patience. Do not pay attention to the result immediately or allow things to flourish before their time. Anything profitable takes challenging work and endurance; View the entire work as progress.
- Control. Avoid giving your power to others. You are manipulating your actions and emotions; your strength is in your ability to manage them to respond to what is happening to them.
- Acceptance. Do not complain about things you have no arrangement with. Recognize that one factor that you can constantly manipulate is your own reaction and approach, and use those characteristics effectively.
- Be patient in the face of failure. See failure as a possibility of growth and improvement, the motive for not giving up. Be prepared to try until you get it right.
- Lack of positivity. Be of high quality – especially – when you come across terrible people. Elevating them; do not push yourself down in any way. Do not allow naysayers to ruin the soul of what you are accomplishing.
- Santosh. Don’t waste time getting angry with everyone’s car, house, spouse, job, or family. Instead, be grateful for what you have. Focus on what you have accomplished and what you are going to alternatively get to look over your shoulder and resentment towards someone else.
- Tenacity. It comes down to just three words: Never supply.
- A strong internal compass. When your experience about the route deepens, you never have to fear about getting lost. Be real to your course.
Part Two: How Mentally Tough Are You?
Chapter 6 Thought Modification
You will learn what thought modification is and how it relates to overthinking and positive thinking. You will get a look at how this therapeutic technique can be applied in your daily life in order to decrease the frequency of negative behavior or thought-pattern, and how to increase the frequency of positive behaviors or thought-patterns. This approach is often used in clinical cases as a supplement to other therapies and personal coaches and certified hypnotists to help an individual replace negative habits with positive ones often use it.
Three of the most common negative behaviors individuals wish to replace are drinking, smoking, and overeating. It is no surprise that these three behaviors are frequently the focus for those wanting to end bad habits. Drinking, smoking, and overeating are classic coping mechanisms widely shared across the globe.
In order to cope with stress and anxiety, often brought on by overthinking, the individual resorts to stress relief. Through past experience, the individual has learned that at least one of these coping mechanisms makes he or she feel better, at least temporarily. When another stressful circumstance occurs, the individual’s mind automatically recalls the last action it took to feel relief from stress and that was to practice the negative habit of drinking, smoking, or overeating. As the individual experiences more stressful situations, the automatic response to engage in a negative behavior to feel better is recalled and practiced.
At some point, however, that negative behavior will not deliver the same relief that it used to. The disadvantages begin to outweigh the benefits. The automatic response that began for a positive reason (to cope) has become harm and hindrance. It is then that the critical, practical, thinker acknowledges the need to replace this negative behavior.
Examples of Thought Modification
Below, you will find three distinct examples of individuals applying thought modification to replace negative behaviors with positive ones. You will notice that even though the exact details are different from case to case, the formula stays the same. The individuals in each example all experience an unhealthy habit of overthinking and this leads them to seek relief in unhealthy behaviors like drinking, smoking, and overeating.
Pay attention to how each example applies aspects of positive thinking, deliberate thinking, and behavior modification and see if you can identify each. Note whether any of these applications spark ideas about how you might apply positive and deliberate thought as you aim to reduce overthinking and perhaps other behaviors that are no longer serving you.
Example #1: The Individual Who Replaces Drinking
In this case, the individual has acknowledged he has a tendency to overthink and this leads to drinking as a way of coping with the stress and anxiety he feels. This individual experiences some degree of paranoia and self-doubt; often worried that others are thinking the worst of him and do not want him around. Sometimes, he will focus on the thoughts that tell him his friends love him and no one is judging him, but other times, he finds himself obsessing over made-up fantasies that others are talking behind his back about how much they hate him and all the stupid things he does.
The individual realizes that both versions of the story exist in his mind. He has a story in his mind about his friends who love him for being himself, as much as he has a story about how they hate him. Sometimes the majority of his concentration is on one version of the story and other times he is giving his attention to the other.
The issue for this individual is that when his mind is already focused on thoughts and feelings of self-doubt, self-criticism, and fear, other ideas like it join them. It is so much easier to be pulled into the emotional distress of a story about how everybody hates him when he has been subjecting himself to self-criticism and self-cruelty for the last 30 minutes. This individual’s train is headed the wrong way with a great deal of momentum.
As these negative thoughts join one another, they compound the stress, doubt, and fear experienced by the individual. When the individual craves relief from these painful thoughts, he begins to drink. Nothing too drastic has ever happened, but the individual notices he does not like the way alcohol makes his body feel in the morning. He does not like the lack of focus and concentration he has after a night of overdrinking. He does not like relying on a substance for relief. Most of all, he does not like the initial overthinking that causes him to start spinning out of control with negative ideas and imaginings.
The hardest part is done. The individual has recognized this behavior pattern is no longer a help to him; it is actually harmed and an inconvenience. The individual recognizes that if most of his issues have arisen because of unhealthy thinking habits, this must be the place to start the healing and rejuvenation. He starts the improvement process with his thoughts; where all action and reality begins.
In order to reduce the frequency of drinking and replace it with something positive, the individual considers and selects a replacement behavior. The act of drinking has been a way to feel a release from stress and to get free from oppressive thoughts for a while. Therefore, the individual selects a replacement behavior that will also deliver relief and momentary escape. This individual loves to make music and loves to play the drums. Lately, he has not had the focus or energy to play because of the drinking pattern he has formed.
When he does play though, he feels like he is in his own world; the problems of reality and all the paranoid and oppressive thoughts disappear. Banging out a few of his favorites on the drums helps him to release even more stress than the drinking. When he has done playing drums, he feels energized and excited. He is thinking about making music and he spends more time in his music studio in the basement. He wants to replace drinking with drums. When he comes home at night, he adjusts his routine a bit. Instead of pouring a drink while he is still in his work clothes, he will put on some comfortable clothes and go straight to his music studio. Instead of the first whiskey of the night, he lets lose all the day’s frustrations on the drums, pounding out what feels best and what he wants to play.
The individual has organized a few techniques and mental exercises that work well for him in controlling and dismissing unnecessary thoughts that feel bad. He has also selected a replacement behavior. Now, he adds another key piece for conditioning, the punishment, and reward. The punishment and reward, in this case, will be financial.
The individual decides to change his typical routine only slightly, but with big results. He will come the same way home each night. He will even continue to stop at the same store where he buys whiskey. Instead of making a whiskey purchase though, he will transfer $25 into his savings account from his phone or from the ATM at the store. Every day, he takes the time to stop and watch the numbers in his savings account increase. He is attentive to how it feels. He takes time to enjoy that feeling, and then runs into the store for anything else he might need, and heads home to put on comfortable clothes and get to his studio.
At the end of the week, if he has transferred the $25 a day instead of spending it on whiskey, he treats himself to a shopping trip to the music store with that money. If he slips up and buys whiskey, then he must transfer $50 to a charity he is selected via the app, which helps kids afford instruments and music lessons. He feels he will be less apt to slip up as the whiskey would end up costing him 3x the amount. He also feels that a shopping splurge is a strong incentive because there is a list of equipment he would like to get.
All of these actions are conscious or subconscious affirmations to himself that he does not have to focus on the negative exaggerations, and that he does have control over these thoughts and his behaviors. He is proud of himself for learning to replace negative behavior and in the meantime, experiences all sorts of benefits and advantages to having done so. Soon, the individual’s train has changed direction and has built up such positive momentum, that life is enjoyable and a weak coping mechanism like drinking is not desired anymore.
Example #2: The Individual Who Replaces Smoking
In this case, the individual has fallen into a recent pattern of overthinking, overanalyzing, and self-criticizing because of stress from work. She has recently been challenged at work to prove she has what it takes for the position she wants. Others in the company want this position, too.
The competition has become fierce and she feels that everything she does is being scrutinized under a microscope, so she must do it perfectly. She loves the challenge and wants the job; she does not mind the hard work, but she keeps over-worrying herself into exhaustion and self-doubt, and all of her creative progress and excitement are drained. That energy ends up being used to worry or imagine negative scenarios repeatedly.
She tries to recall when she has been this stressed and anxious before, and when she finds the moment in her memory, she recalls she was smoking a cigarette then as a way to cope with her stress and pain. This sends her to the store for a pack of smokes. She has one on the way home. It is familiar. It does actually somewhat lessen the stress she currently feels; she feels a relaxation from this experience.
Before long, she has a smoke on the way home from the office. She starts to have them on the way into the office. It is not long before she is in the smoke-pit outside with all the other smokers on smoke-break. It is not long before she buys a carton of smokes, which she said she would never do again.
Now though, this individual is noticing health concerns. She cannot breathe as well and she occasionally has shortness of breath when she should not. She is coughing more. Her throat is irritated. Worse still, the relaxation she initially gained back has faded. Now she is left mostly with an expensive, unhealthy habit that does not even deliver a satisfying result anymore. It really only gives her a few minutes extra to stew over negative ideas in her own mind while she’s on a smoke break.
This individual has recognized that over-analyzing and overthinking recent work challenges to a negative and obsessive degree is holding her back from success and it is causing her to develop negative behaviors as coping mechanisms. She has decided to change this pattern of thought; to modify it, and to replace the negative behavior to smoke.
In order to replace the negative smoking behavior, this individual makes more changes that are significant to her routine. She decides she does not necessarily need a direct replacement for smoking; that is to say, she does not need a replacement habit to do every hour. She had not smoked for years and did not need to do something every hour to feel better, and that is what she would like to return to. Instead, she plans to reward herself with the massage units at the gym. Her gym membership includes access to the hydro massage bed and massage chairs, but she never makes time to do it. She goes to the gym every other day and she plans to treat herself to 10 minutes of massage every time she has not smoked in-between visits.
This is not her only plan for removing this negative smoking behavior. This individual has also paid a visit to a certified hypnotist for extra help. The hypnotist has performed a version of operant conditioning that adds an instant and unwanted stimulus to the smoking experience if she chooses to smoke. When this individual needs extra reinforcements in the moments she may feel like smoking a cigarette, this operant conditioning will do the work.
The stimulus that the hypnotist has added to the smoking experience is an unwanted taste in the mouth. The hypnotist brings the individual into a trance-state and guides her through the experience of having a cigarette, but in this imagined scenario, the individual is prompted to notice the already unpleasant flavor of smoking. The hypnotist expands on and exaggerates that experience, convincing the individual that it is the most wretched flavor she has ever tasted. He relates a number of highly unpleasant sensory cues to this experience, making the individual think of the smell of truck stop portable bathrooms when she lights up.
All these unpleasant sensory perceptions are linked with the behavior of smoking, and soon enough, this individual finds herself unable to even smell an unlit cigarette without her stomach turning. It is only a matter of days before she is in the massage chairs and has not smoked since. Because she has stopped smoking, she feels more involved at work and she does not feel people are talking about her behind her back as she did when she would go out for a smoke break. She regularly treats herself to the massage equipment at the gym and uses that time to deliberately practice healthy and positive thinking exercises. She considers it a full-coverage gym membership where she can exercise her body and her mind.
Example #3: The Individual Who Replaces Overeating
In this case, the individual has just recently started living on her own, alone. As a result, she has adapted some poor eating habits lately. There is no one else eating with her, so she is less apt to take the time to ensure her meals are balanced and sensible. In addition, after the stressful days, she has been having, she feels she deserves the foods she craves.
Little confrontations will set her into a pattern of overthinking. Some small interaction in traffic on the way home, and it is the only thing she can think about. She focuses on the scene repeatedly. Was she in the wrong? Should she have said something different? How dare those other drivers blame her! She creates a great comeback that is 20 minutes too late. She wonders what that driver’s problem was. She stews over it. She creates all kinds of little stories of injustice and wrongdoing and gets herself all worked up.
By the time she gets home, she is hungry, tired, and stressed from all the overthinking she has been engaged in. She orders delivery, or goes through the drive-thru and gets something comforting and fast. She justifies this by thinking she should not have to cook if she is tired, and she deserves the indulgence to take the edge off from the day.
However, after a few weeks of this pattern, she has gained weight and she feels unhealthy. These experiences add to her overthinking and cause more stress. Reaching for pleasurable food indulgences have become the thing that is causing her stress.
Instead of continuing this unhealthy pattern, the individual commits to practicing an assessment activity in place of every time she would normally give in to the unhealthy craving. For as long as it would take to drive to McDonald’s and back, and as long as it would take to finish eating, this individual commits to using that time to understand her impulses and thought patterns better. She understands that her poor habits are the result of poor thinking.
To do this, she will sit and write in a journal, answering a series of pre-designed questions to help her better understand her impulse to eat junk food and dismiss it. At the end of this time, the individual hopes to have dismissed the craving, and to have even replaced that craving with one for a nutritious home-cooked, well-balanced meal.
This individual has included an extra incentive as a reward. If she can stay on track with healthy home-cooked meals, she will treat herself to an upgrade around her new space. Maybe it is curtains, or new furniture or appliances; she has a list of lots of things she would like in her new home. She decides for every month she eats out only one time, she will treat herself to the latest upgrade she has had her eye on. Six months into the future, this individual has developed quick, fast, and delicious eating habits and her new space is looking better than ever.
The individuals recognized that current habits were no longer working for them. They each applied attention and objection analysis to their current thought-patterns, and implemented mental exercises to deal with internal confusion and stress in a different way. They all replaced negative behaviors with positive ones, though there was variance on the technique and intervals of practice and reward (or punishment).