book ‘the five languages of love’ review

book ‘the five languages of love’ review

The book ‘the five languages of love’ was authored by Dr. Gary Chapman. The author does not refer to love as usual academic definitions. Dr. chapman takes a more in-depth view of defining what love is, and he refers to is as being emotional. The book talks about the ways on how to raise emotionally healthy children. The main ideas of the book are the five languages of love which include, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation.

Five Ways You Can Express Love

The first love language is a quality conversation. A quality conversation requires one to be in tune with his or her internal emotions. Gray explains that if an individual comprehends their inner feelings and emotions, they will be in a position to share quality time and conversations with the ones they love. Chapman states that many people will feel loved and valued when they spend quality time together. The facet of spending time together brings two individuals closer.

Physical touch is the second love language. Physical contact from another person makes one feel so esteemed. Physical touch is a vital aspect of in that it breaks or makes an existing relationship. Chapman says that a pat on someone’s back can make them feel admired and secure. It is also significant to learn how the other party reacts to physical touch, both psychologically and physically. In the case of a professional setting, there is a separate set of rules that act as a guide to physical touch in a professional setting.it is vital that one gets to learn about the other person love language of physical touch since some other touches can be very uncomfortable and so irritating. Hence it is significant to note the touches that the other individual receives well. Chapman says that in a situation that one is experiencing a high level of stress, a handshake or a high five can be used to communicate a sense of togetherness. Gray says that individuals who appreciate physical touch prefer them than words of advice or talks. However, this kind of love language differs in every individual.

The third love language is receiving gifts. Some people respond well

This is the kind love that is usually portrayed in films and novels. However, Dr chapman goes ahead to discuss the concept which he refers to as the tanks of love, that is available in each individual. He explains how the tank is filled up will be so instrumental in defining how a loved person will feel. This is very significant since it gives an individual a sense of security, significance, belonging, and self-worth.

Dr. Chapman argues that a full love tank always looks that the partner moves to reach his or her maximum possible potential in life. On the other hand, the empty tanks see that people do not communicate appropriately hence building enmity. Gary says that the only way to ensure that the tank remained filled is by loving the other partner in the correct way, which entails how the person needs to be loved. It is in this way that Chapman refers to as the five languages of love. The most significant aspect to note is that each individual responds appropriately to a single of the languages primarily.

The doctor suggests that the numerous partnership and marriages that have failed can be revived if the couples could identify and learn the suitable way of communicating with their partners’ language of love. The book brings out that each needs love, and there is a particular way in which they need can be fulfilled. The book is unique in that; it reveals something novel to the discussion regarding marriage and divorce.

Critiques

Giving Without Receiving

Yearning to receive or get any of the five languages of love may reveal the hidden egoism, pride, and the attachment to the world. The five languages may seem innocent and common practices between healthy individuals, but in the real sense, they reveal the unhealed nature. One feels the need to be given by others and may become upset when others do not recognize the efforts they are making for offering Chapman’s type of love. Many people are out here trying to manipulate others into offering the required love language.

The author advocates that one should practice the expression of affection for others without necessarily expecting anything in return. Giving is not an issue, and in fact, those who do not give may be having a big problem. However, feeling the need to receive certain gifts encourages people to attach themselves to the world and therefore hindering one from getting to the more profound love of Christ. Also, giving someone who is not thankful or returns the efforts always evokes the emotional response of anger or hurt, which is a sign of ego and having an impure heart.

Saving Marriages and Relationships

The author tends to work with assumptions and does not cover all the relationship aspects. The author does not address the compatibility of partners. According to the author, a marriage must be saved regardless of whether you got into marriage while young, arranged marriage, and whether one knows anything about preference; they have to make the marriage work. If the marriage fails, the author gives a lot of judgments. Although the author has a point when he argues that people tend to move out of relationships and get into another one whenever