Matricide

Matricide

Introduction

Family relationships can be difficult sometimes until the bond that exists between family members is no longer in existence. Matricide can be defined as the killing of a biological mother by her children. These cases are common in society today than in the past due to the various factors in the contemporary world. In today’s world, some parents are reluctant to performing their parental duty and may end up neglecting their children. Meghan, in her book, the unspeakable, talks about how her family had a complicated relationship, how the mother had neglected them, just like the grandmother had neglected her. Meghan wished her mother died, and even if she did not do it herself, at least she had thought of it a couple of times. Victims of matricide usually have brought it upon himself, and if they practised their role as mothers, then the rates of matricide would decrease significantly.

Causes of matricide

Neglect

Children who commit matricide usually have stopped caring about their mothers as a result of their mother not caring for them. Daum felt that her mother had already neglected them. At one point in her life, Daum’s mother became too busy for her family. She moved out of their family house. Daum specifically said that when she went to college, she hardly came home, and when she did, she stayed at her father’s. This was because her mother would stay out late practising with the piano. She did prefer her career to her family. Also, their relationship had gone in tatters, and they had stopped even sharing clothes, yet they had the same taste. Daum’s mother prioritized her new career rather too much that she did her children. In the instances that Daum called her while in the office, she usually picked the telephone but kept Daum hanging til she would hang up. During their upbringing, Daum was taught about phone etiquette, which her mother was breaking then. This new personality from her mother angered her more. However, when she asked her about it, her mother would tell her that she wished the new she raised her.

Negligence is also depicted in Daum’s grandmother. Daum points out that her mother was not sad when she lost her mother. She even told her children that her mother’s death hardly had an impact on her emotions as she said that she had lost her a while back. One would mistake that she referred to the dementia condition Daum’s grandmother was suffering from, but Daum explains that the loss her mother was referring to happened even before dementia. The grandmother was a tyranny. She was egocentric and self-centred. She was also quite stubborn and never reasoned in a logical way. The negligence she portrayed did not entail providing the basic needs because she did that, but it was emotional negligence, where she hardly gave Daum’s mother the emotional support that she ached for. Lack of support prompted her to refrain from talking while at home, and the mother was still unbothered by the silence. Such negligence is damaging to the child on a psychologically and emotionally. It is depicted in the book that Daum’s family has disregard for her grandmother, and this comes from her egocentric nature. Her mother did not feel the need to bury her immediately. Her grandson was not willing to skip work for her, and neither was Daum’s father not coming.

Disregard

The children’s disregard stimulates matricide for their parents, and this may be because of how their parents carry themselves. Daum did not like the fact that her mother copied her way of dressing and her style in hair and taste of jewellery. She felt that her mother was a bit old for that. She did also not like the fact that her mother was acting all cool in her dressing and lifestyle, and yet, she did not allow her to be out of the house by 10 pm. She did not like that Daum had a boyfriend, especially because her boyfriend was not gifted in art. She did not like people to call her the mother of the daughter with a boyfriend.

Daum disregarded her mother to the extent she viewed her as a fraud. This could have contributed to her not having an emotional connection with her parents. She felt that her mother had personality issues at her age, and her transformation was not what many would call pleasing. She felt her mother was rather depressed and angry. She assumed her children and her marriage, probably the reason the father left. Her new personality was not quite amusing to Daum because her mother joined her school and volunteered for theatre, even if she did not know about such art. Daum had to pretend to be happy, yet she was crushing from the inside.

Another factor that constrained Dum and her mother’s relationship is that Daum felt that her mother was also quite egocentric; it was all about herself and not about her daughter. Her not supporting Daum’s love relationship was because she did want her name to get tarnished. To her, it did not matter if Daum liked the boy, what mattered was what people were going to say out her mother, a factor Daum hated in her mother. She also cared too much about herself that she shifted all attention form her household to the school’s theatre. She also wanted her children to praise and give her credit. She always complained they never noticed what changes she had made; she dressed better, lost weight, established a career in the field of theatre. Even if this was true, Daum couldn’t bring herself to being happy for her mother as she did not uphold her highly enough. Her mother commented that she did not take her seriously enough, and she was right.

Anger

In her book, anger and hate towards her mother prevail. It would be correct to say that Daum hated her mother. She did this so much that she wished she could throw her in front of a bus and speed up her death. When her mother started chemotherapy, and the doctor stated that it was working, Datum could not hide her disappointment. She also states that she was relieved when her mother died. Dum and her brother could not hide their lack of hope in their mother’s healing. They started packing their stuff because their lease was almost over, and they had no money to pay for the next month. So right in front of her eyes, they packed, showing that they had lost faith that their mother would wake up from the hospital bed.

Daum’s mother also felt unappreciated by her mother until losing her was also a relief. She explained to Daum how she would secretly unwrap her Christmas gist before boxing day so that she could plan her reaction and what she was going to say. This shows that her mother did not appreciate her enough to bless her child with good gifts of her liking. The relationship between Daun’s mother and grandmother was broken by lack of recognition. Her mother did not notice her accomplishments; nether did she appreciate her. Her mother underlooked her career and did not understand the essence of the work she has chosen. She asks her if she wished she was a career girl, yet all that time, she had been explaining about her career to her. Daum explains her mother’s reaction in her grandmother’s burial. She states that her grief was not because she had lost her mother, but because she had little time to be free from her mother. The real source of grief was that her death timing was so close to when Daum’s mother was also ill. She had waited her whole life to be relieved off the judgment and the unrecognition. However, she knew she had little time to enjoy that, and this caused her so much sorrow. From this book, we could say that both Dum and her mother did not love their mothers because they were quite egocentric and never appreciated them in the way they should have. Even if they did not kill them, they could hardly wait for their deaths.

Conclusion

Meghan’s story about her mother is an exquisite example of how people develop hate towards their parents and end up killing them. Victims of matricide usually have brought it upon themselves, and if they practised their role as mothers, then the rates of matricide would decrease significantly. Although Meghan did not kill her mother, she is relieved that she is dead. Megan’s mother did not love them enough for them to have an emotional attachment to her. She neglected her family and focused on her career. She also was self-centred and expected her children to do as she pleased, never caring about how they felt. Meghan’s mother could have done better during her time with her children. She should have been more caring and maybe she would have gotten all the appreciation she wanted from her children, and could also have maintained the mother-child bond with her children.