How Society Contributes to Stoic Stand in Men

How Society Contributes to Stoic Stand in Men

I once noticed a billboard that carried my attention. It was a piece of an advert for men lotion. The advert was well laid, and the background was on pink color. The message was very clear. It said that a man should never smell like a woman. He should be in a lotion that is smelling least and hardly noticeable by passersby. I kept asking myself why it should be said that a woman should not smell like a woman. What if I, as a man I am attracted to strongly scented lotions, should I decline from accessing my preferred commodity because I will smell like a woman? Overly, I realized how society had impacted very many areas of our individual lives. The society has created expectations for each gender, which should be confined in; otherwise, one gets disregarded. Those same social constructs have been adversely influenced men. They never get to speak about their inner feelings because they will be regarded as feminine. Societal constructs have created stoic stances among men, which is the leading cause of unhappiness among most men. This paper focuses on analyzing the psychology of men regarding opening about their emotions, and how society has contributed to their stoic stance.

It is very common for most men never to think what it means for them to be a man.  The reason behind this is the societal setting. The society has created a notion that being a man is advantageous. As such, most men do not accept self-reflection as part of their lives. Even though they may be interested in doing so, they are over too careful for fear of being branded chauvinistic or incorrect. The traditional American masculinity can be said to comprise of the following parts: emotional restriction, focus on toughness and aggressiveness, avoidance of femininity, self-reliance, achievement, homophobia, and objectification of sex. (Cohan & Hark, 2012). These eight elements constitute toxic masculinity among most men. It is a notion that was cultivated in them by society. As such, one can see that men are a victim of societal constructs that have brainwashed most of them to the point of reducing them into inhumane.

Traditionally, the man is perceived as the provider, protector of the family, and one individual to deal with physical pain. (the Levant, 2011). These roles could be operational, but they are very limiting. There is always that pressure to adhere to these roles set by society. Most men suffer the pressure of trying to impress and get along with the societal expectation. Men, like any other human being, have emotions. They do experience an emotional breakdown. Unfortunately, not mot men shall seek professional help or confide to a trusted individual. The society has the notion that men should never expose their emotion, as that makes them appear weak by openly expressing their emotions. The society has men think that they never get depressed, and when they do, they do not speak it out; rather, they deal with it personally. This stoic stance is the cause of unhappiness in so many men.

Most men have a condition many psychologists refer t as alexithymia. It is a condition of people being unable to speak about their feelings. Mostly, men have difficulties in identifying and speaking about their feelings. They face difficulties in putting into words what is happening within them. No matter how hard they try, they can never find words to attach to their emotions. Such individuals have devised their strategies for dealing with personal problems. They highly employ logic and rationality in tackling their issues. In most instances, we find intellects, relying on their intelligence in addressing problems. Unfortunately, they end up isolating themselves, especially mostly at a time when they need help the more.

Men should learn adaptive measures of processing and speak of their feelings. This can be achieved with the help of the therapist. The goal of therapy is not to change men into women as many claims. Instead, therapy is aimed at helping people feel more comfortable with who they are. It also helps a person process what’s going inside them and assists in establishing and strengthening the relationship with those who care about them. (Kohlenberg & Tsai, 2012). Therefore, men could highly benefit from therapy sessions. There needs to be extensive awareness regarding the importance of opening feelings to caring people. The society needs to be educated on the essentiality of breaking the expectations they lay on men. These expectations are the leading cause of stoic stances among men.

Overly, as indicated earlier, men do have difficulties in expressing their inner feelings. They chose to keep it to themselves rather than opening up to someone who cares. The society has made men this way. They are expected to be tough and aggressive and not showing emotional attachment. This has created a stoic stand among men that inhibits them from opening up their personal feelings or seeking help from a therapist. More so, gender roles, all social construct leads to men being stubborn in opening up their feelings. These roles have operational benefits, but they turn out to be exclusively limiting. Therefore, there is a huge need to encourage men in society to open up to who cares about them or visit professional help from a therapist.

Reference

Cohan, S., & Hark, I. R. (Eds.). (2012). Screening the Male: Exploring masculinities in the Hollywood cinema. Routledge.

Kohlenberg, R. J., & Tsai, M. (2012). Functional analytic psychotherapy: Creating intense and curative therapeutic relationships. Springer Science & Business Media.

The Levant, R. F. (2011). Research in the psychology of men and masculinity using the gender role strain paradigm as a framework. American psychologist, 66(8), 765.