Responding to Conflicts Effectively
Assertiveness refers to the ability of an individual to control stress and anger to improve coping skills. By being, a person recognizes that one has to express himself or herself in a dignified way while respecting the rights and beliefs of other people. The result of being assertive is boosting a person’s self-esteem and level of respect among people.
There was a time back in high school when we were in a group discussion with friends carrying out an assignment given. The members were active, and each was contributing adequately to the topic under discussion, which was about how racism brings about inequality in society. While I was presenting my points during the exercise, a colleague of mine started being personal and begun throwing abuses and insults without provocation. I was furious and felt like my assertiveness skills were being challenged. The person was an exploder, an individual who throw tantrums that can bring tensions quickly. He was threatening my relaxed behavior, and I felt the need to respond harshly.
However, I had to deal with the situation before it escalated the conflict to physical fights. This exercise involved the intervention of our group leader who addressed the matter by bringing us to the negotiation table. But, I was not ready for negotiations, only apologies, because the other party was the one at fault. After much consideration and talk, I realized that my expression of various points for discussion angered my colleague. I would not have understood that if we had not been brought together. In the end, we both apologized and resolved to work together.
If I had knowledge and opportunity, I would have employed the strategy highlighted in the text, that is call the name of my colleague out and tell him to stop. Further, the behavioral style that was employed and which would have worked in this situation, as stated by Robert Maddux, is the cooperative/assertive style. We needed to iron out our differences through dialogue.