What are the dangers of being judgmental?

What are the dangers of being judgmental?

Strangely, having good judgment does not necessarily mean being judgmental, instead judgmental is a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason. The adjective judgmental describes someone who forms a lot of opinions usually harsh or critical ones about lots of people. Generally, people that are judgmental are insecure and it says a lot about their own character,  a judgmental person  a lot of time displays the same behavior that they dislike and are judging others about but they aren’t aware of it. I personally get judgmental about things that I am especially not good at doing, and subconsciously judging my actions and performance based on the prevailing ability of people around me performing the same task. Self-criticism leads to a higher rate of judgmental tendencies.

How aware of judgement and criticism are you? In the ‘’Young Goodman Brown’, although Goodman has decided to go to the forest and meet with the devil, he is at the same time judgmental and critical of the people he finds at the black mass, Goodman sees Goody Cloyse and hears the minister and Deacon Gookin. He seems more interested in how others see him in relation to his religion whilst he himself has decided to meet the devil. Goodman is critical of the decisions of others familiar to him for taking a decision he himself is considering and has already began but is still hesitant. His religion is based on the people he surrounds himself with but at the same time proves that he is highly corruptible. In ‘’A Good Man Is Hard to Find’’ the Misfit and the Grandmother are another example of how judgement can change depending on one’s situation when the grandmother on facing death opts to show love to the Misfit despite being shallow and selfish, and only death can bring  out the goodness in her. Her prior criticism is blurred by her own situation. This shows how much of a coward the Grandmother actually is. This illustrates how important it is to be aware of our own actions before being overly critical and judgmental, because the same criteria used may be similarly used on us.

How do you frame your thoughts? In the ‘’Young Goodman Brown’’ Mr.Goodman frames his thoughts negatively towards those around him for attending the black mass which him too is in attendance, he seems disappointed for undertaking the black mass but is later convinced because of the people there including the wife and at the end is corrupted. He frames his thoughts based on the other people’s decisions, further illustrating the disadvantage of being negatively judgmental. ‘’A Good Is Hard to Find’’ depicts how out thoughts are influenced by our own situation in relation to other peoples control over the same. The Grandmother’s mind is changed by her facing death, which scares her and in turn starts showing love to the Misfit to improve her situation. Our thoughts are key to how we view people and how judgmental we are. Having a more considerate pattern of thought can improve how we view and perceive others around us, being overly judgmental is directly proportional to our thoughts.

Do you avoid judgmental people? In ‘’A Good Man is Hard To Find’’ the first three lines in this book illustrate how the Grandmother’s vanity and self-centeredness, instead of acquiesce to the family plan to go Florida, she wants to visit her connections in Tennessee. The Misfit on the other hand, squelches the attempt by the grandmother to compliment him by saying he is a ‘’good man’’. The misfits knows how vain and judgmental the grandmother is, he responds and says ‘’Nome, I ain’t a good man’’. In this case, the Misfit is evidently shrugging off her comments because he is already familiar with the Grandmothers persona. Being around judgmental people can be draining mentally and physically and in most cases may lead to anxiety. It is easier to avoid vain and selfish people because they eventually bring out your judgmental tendencies.  “

Attributions are thoughts we have about other to make sense of why they do the things they do. There are two types of attributions; situational attributions are those that are thought to be influenced by the subject himself or herself, contributing to how they do things. Personality attributions are more about the person’s character or personality; personality attributions are more enduring and long lasting than situational attributions. A good example is when you wave at a schoolmate and they do not wave back, one may think that they are in a situation that couldn’t allow them to wave back or we would think that they are bad or mean or have a bad personality. Research has shown that we tend to overestimate personality attributions and underestimate situational attributions especially for people we do not know well. Andy Puddicombe said, ’it is easy to praise or blame other for their actions but unless we know their motivation, we really know nothing at all,’’ not judging is the only gift we can give each other in order to allow us to be our best selves. It is useful to sometimes think of the situation others are in instead of jumping on their personality automatically, though there are obvious limitations to this. Time is a constraint we don’t have and taking time to understand someone’s situation may end up taking too long.

Some core values that may help in getting rid of negative criticism and judgment include being empathetic with people concerning their situations, rather than generalizing the personality aspects of every individual. Taking time to understand where somebody is coming from is the most respectful thing to do and is most prudent, because you too need positive judgement to reinforce your personality. Taking ownership of your own situation is important too, in aiding others in forming a positive outlook on you and your relationship with others. In conclusion, it is dangerous to be judgmental because the same criteria you use on others when coming up with attributions be it situational or personality attributions may be replicated on you, which eventually leads to a judgmental personality.

References

• Nathaniel Hawthrone ‘’Young Goodman Brown’’. Painesville, Ohio; Lake Erie Collage Press, 1968.
• O”Connor, Flannery. A Good Man Is Hard to Find. San Diego; Harcourt Brace, 1983.
• https://www.huffpost.com/entry/stop-judging_b_3447020
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/201305/making-judgments-and-being-judgmental