The Development of Cultural Traditions from Technology

The Development of Cultural Traditions from Technology

In agreement with the second feedback, an excellent counter-argument to your essay could be that in as much as technology helps in proper recording and storage of folklores, the traditional form of maintenance used before is slowly vanishing. This leads to erosion of some cultural practices used to preserve histories, such as passing on to other generations orally, keen listening skills, and the feelings adopted in a particular event. The introduction of technology in recording and storage of history also tends to alter the original information. Records lack emotions and thus make it difficult to interpret the feelings conveyed at the original the data was recorded.

This essay contains many grammatical corrections that should be corrected, and some parts that need to be clarified. First, the introduction may be difficult to comprehend for a knowledgeable audience. Suggestions would be to split the first sentence into two and use more straightforward vocabulary for contextually. A lot of sentences are also in the passive voice, which should be in the active voice. Active voice is when the subject of a sentence does the action of the verb and is used to provide a direct, strong, and clear tone. The passive voice is usually weaker compared to the active voice, although it is convenient in some cases.

Another correction is the use of unnecessarily wordy phrases. Consider changing phrases like; the aim of this research paper is, in regards to, in order to, in an effort to, in relation to, on the basis of, the means by which and are able to. Corrections would be; this research paper aims, regarding, to, to, concerning, based on, how and can respectively. Avoid dangling modifiers, unclear antecedents and sentence fragments like the case where a sentence has begun with ‘although’ and ‘for instance.’ Some words also appear to be commonly repeated, such as legends, culture, communications, greater, completely and contained. Consider replacing them with suitable synonyms. Also observe proper punctuation and don’t use semicolons in place of commas. The word supernatural is miswritten. Correct the word believes into beliefs and remove the comma. The sentence, “In many situations humans believes” should have a comma and the word believes ripped off the s. Besides, remove the tautology in ‘lag behind,’ add an article in ‘dissemination,’ ‘prevailing’ and ‘story’ then correct the determiner usage in ‘use’ and ‘existence’ and remove article the in ‘evidence’ and ‘authenticity,’

From the writer’s comment, the two responses criticize the work both positively and negatively. This claim has helped in identifying the positive part and keeping it intact and in rectifying the negative part. The peer-review comments assist in identifying the mistakes in this essay and appreciating the proper delivery of the desired content. The first feedback insists on the correction of citation of the figures and also the grammar mistakes. The second feedback wants the writer to look into other folklore and compare them to his/hers and also to fetch different opinions that will make the paper more well-rounded.

The citation of figures from a website or blog in MLA format should be as follows: The author’s last name, first name. “Title of article.” Title of website, other contributors, version, number, publisher/platform, date of publication, URL, and the date assessed. Another folklore definition is oral preserved history by the people of the culture with traditions of a specific culture. Others take it as a collection of fiction stories about animals and people. Their primary purpose is to convey a moral lesson and impact knowledge.

I have corrected a few pointed out mistakes in your paper, and I have attached the corrected one as a draft.