at what point does our self-awareness turn into self-criticism?
Throughout my career, I’ve interviewed for a few positions and seemed to have a good perception of how the interviews went. In a conversation with a potential employer, they mentioned my strengths and weaknesses were congruent with what my references reported. To me, this indicated I had strong self-awareness.
But at what point does our self-awareness turn into self-criticism? While working as Mock Interviewer at IUP, I would ask students what did they think they did well, where did they think they could improve upon? Almost all of these students would focus on what they did poorly, rather than list what they did positively. But what struck me the most would be how minor or small the mistakes would be. Students would list actions I never picked up. While it could be that I wasn’t as attuned to the interview, my thoughts are we are our own worst critics. However, this extends beyond interviews, to any time we are being evaluated.
This makes sense; who knows you better than yourself? We all want to succeed in whatever our passions might be. In times this might mean imposing ambitious standards on ourselves. These standards can be helpful in achieving our goals, as well as damaging.
For the students I interviewed, I often felt their standards were damaging. They were putting far too much pressure on themselves, and because of this pressure were unable to enjoy the moment. While a mock interview might not be the most enjoyable experience. Take an interview, for example, an interview is a significant accomplishment. As such, we should take time to recognize this fact. Besides, celebrating our victories, we have to realize there is only so much we can do after the interview. Yes, we should process the interview, and try to learn from it to improve. Yet, we must accept after we process it, we can’t change the outcome, and lamenting over it will do us no good.
Self-awareness is a great trait to have, it allows you to address your strengths and weaknesses. But when our self-awareness turns into criticism, and we keep focusing on it, we can never move forward. As someone who constantly overthinks, take it from me. Take a minute to process and reflect on the experience and then take solace knowing you can’t change the outcome. Then flip the negativity on its head, not everyone gets a platform to showcase their talents. The world can be a hard enough place without our own psyche criticizing our self.