Common Stages of a Breakup & What You Can Expect

Common Stages of a Breakup & What You Can Expect

There comes a stage in every relationship when keeping it real goes all wrong. Some relationships weather this storm, but others come to an end. Now all breakups are different, but the key to surviving a breakup is accepting that going crazy for the next few months of your life is part of the healing process.

So, have you recently been blindsided by the phrase “we aren’t right for each other,” or “I don’t love you anymore?” Breakups are never easy, but the aftermath usually falls into 5 stages. Now, these five stages after a breakup differ for women and men. Here’s a look:

Stages of a breakup for women

1. Pain

Okay, go ahead and grab your tissues and cry lovelies, the first stage of a breakup is pretty standard and maybe the easiest part. You can do it alone, with a friend, at work, or just burst into tears randomly. Psychologists say crying is not a sign of weakness, but rather a cathartic experience.

The length of the “pain” stage varies from person to person. Breakups can leave the heartbroken crying for days or sometimes even weeks. But it’s a necessary step to go through because a sudden breakup is not the end of life. Better things lie await on the other side, but first, you have to shed a few (or more) tears. So, go ahead and have a good cry because pushing through the pain is the only way to the other side of the breakup.

2. Distractions

The next stage is the distractions. Keeping busy is crucial to avoid sulking. You can’t be sad about your broken heart if you are too busy to think about it. Distractions can be anything, from physical exercise routines to a night out with your gal pals.

But watch out when you are out with your gals. Cold-hearted sons of b**ches can smell a vulnerable lady mile off and explore this trait to lure you when you are not yet ready to get back on the horse. They spot you acting shy, vulnerable, and desperate and decide to take advantage of you. You might even fall into the traps of a sociopathic man if you are not too careful. At this stage, just feel free to tell the guy to take his d**k elsewhere!

3. Stepping out

After shedding tears over the guy and distracting yourself from thinking about him, you are going to start yearning for more interaction soon. But you have to ask yourself, “I’m I ready?” because if the last mistake you want to make is getting something that is an exact match of what just ended.

When it comes to getting back out there, just know that contrary to what TVs and movies portray that you meet a smorgasbord of interesting hot men at these stages, most dates are freaking boring. There are braggers, bad boys, the rebound, but there are also good guys. However, just because someone is good doesn’t mean they’re right for you.

Getting the right guy takes time and involves many factors, so just take this stage as the fun phase.

4. Withdrawal

Chances are you may bump into your ex too when you are just starting to get some traction in your life, and suddenly all the memories come back flooding, and you turn into a pretty mess again.

There’s not much to talk about here except that it sucks because you were so close to moving on when a single social media update by your ex brought everything down. What would help here is accepting that it’s all over. Avoid contact with your ex; blocking them on social media, for example, is a wise move. Researchers say blocking and unfriending an ex is part of dictating to yourself and the society that you are self-dependent and flourishing. Find out more here on what to do when you bump into your ex.

5. Self-Love

The final stage of getting through a breakup is to start practicing self-love. Unfortunately, most lovelorn ladies don’t take this step, and not because they don’t want to but simply because they do not know how to. But before you can love anyone, you have to love yourself first.

The answer to moving on from any breakup is not in a YouTube video or pages of a book but lies within you, accept who you are. Embrace your strength as well as your insecurities, and you will find happiness then maybe, just maybe the right someone.

Stages of a breakup for a man

1. Realization

Guys love to ignore the breakup and avoid staying in the stage for a long time. Realizing they are now single, the hormones kick in, and it’s a new man in town, so please hide your girlfriends or wives from your buddy if he’s going through a breakup.

2. Single ready to mingle

With apps like tinder, long gone are the days of being single and meeting people, which involve real conversations. Now, you just let your online information work for you.

3. Distractions

To keep yourself from accepting that you are all alone, you do anything in your power to avoid thinking about it. Distractions can be anything from picking up a new hobby, staying away from social media to hanging out with the guys at the gym/ club, etc.

4. Crazy ex-boyfriend

When being single and distracting your mind off your ex-girlfriend no longer works, emotions such as jealousy take over, and you start acting in ways that you never thought you would. You can’t help but stalk your ex on social media, at their home, etc. and these lead to the final stage of breakup blues.

5. The breakup blues

Breakup blues is the ultimate stage guys experience after a breakup. This is when you accept that the relationship is over. So, grab your tissues guys, because you are going to be shedding tears because you realize you can no longer do the silly lovely couple things you used to.

Stages after a breakup can be torture to anyone, but the most important lesson is accepting that the journey to happiness starts with Self-Love. You can’t truly love someone else if you don’t love yourself.