Effects of Technology on Education Systems
Revision plan
- The thesis statement, “the analysis of the effects of technology in the education system assists in understanding the positive and negative outcomes it has had on students, teachers, and parents,” needs a revision because it is vague. At the moment, the thesis statement simply states the issue. It does not show how, and technology affects students, and it does not assert the conclusion of the report.
- My solution is clear when it comes to the importance of technology in classrooms. However, the details are not as clear, and they need some work. It is true that technology impacts both positive and negative ways, but how does it affect students? How does it affect students from the real world? What are the statistics, if any? Is it better to use technology in classrooms despite the negative outcomes or not?
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- I need to give more examples of how technology advances education and how it is integrated into schools. Moreover, I need more focused research on the history of technology in schools. Some scholarly resources will provide an in-depth understanding of this review. Furthermore, the introduction of direct quotes will give more credibility to the project, and the way the quotes are used in the essay will improve the flow of ideas.
- I need to provide more examples of how the negative outcomes can be mitigated and how they have been solved in the past, and if those solutions worked or not. I admit that the report requires more focused research on technology in schools and the specific technology being used for education.
- When it comes to sentence structure, there are some sentences that are difficult to read. They are too long, and they lower the clarity of the entire paper. Editing and punctuation will fix all the grammatical issues.