Forming and Maintaining Personal and Close Relationships.

Forming and Maintaining Personal and Close Relationships.

The social exchange theory is one that is based on psychological and sociological perspectives and studies the social behavior or relationship between two individuals developed via cost-benefit analysis. The analysis helps determine the efforts (cost and benefits) a particular person has in a two-party relationship. The theory is, to some extend, unique as it does not necessarily measure a relationship from an emotional perspective. Instead, it relies on logic and calculations in determining balance in a relation. Besides measuring romantic relationships, it can as well determine the balance in a friendship.

The social exchange theory assumes that people tend to seek out rewards and not punishments. Also, it assumes that interaction is started to gain maximum profit with minimal costs. People tend to measure the benefits and costs of friendship before starting it. They also know how the gains differ from one person to another and with the same individual for a long time. The costs mentioned in this theory are the negative things in a relationship, while the benefits are the traits viewed as positive attributes. Commonly, everybody in this world has one time to become a friend to another individual. Friends are there to help each other in situations.

I have been able to measure my relationship with my closest friend and found that the benefits outweigh the costs. However, the positives outweigh the negatives, and it’s my understanding that this relationship with my best friend is worth the costs to endure. I am not able to identify anything that has ever cost my friendship. At times when one of us is in need, the other can lend a hand and other times in our own free time, we enjoy ourselves by takings drinks and sharing ideas. Among the costs of the relationship are time and also knowledge and some material things. I would say that there is a balance in this relationship because each of us benefits from one another in various ways.

Dr. Chapman wrote about love languages that describe the feeling of being loved and appreciated. The Love languages include acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, and physical touch. Many relationships that have been maintained for long rely on love languages. The words of affirmation communicate love with kind words that build up the partners. Simple words such as “I always feel at peace when I am with you” and “you always maintain my jovial moods” among others mean a lot if your partner has this love language.

The act of service expresses itself by doing things that your friend likes, and that is done with positivity. Receiving gifts shows love not just through materialistic things, but also thoughtful gifts make your partner feel appreciated. Quality time is a love language that expresses love to your partner by giving him or her attention to feel comforted in the relationship. Among Lastly, through physical touch, people feel connected and safe in a relationship when they join hands, hugs, etc. all the love languages, my love language in a friendship is words of affirmation. When you tell friend words that bring with them appreciation, make the relationship firm. The partner will always love to maintain the association alive since no one feels heartbroken. Words such as, “you are working hard. I am proud of you,” etc. shows how strong the friendship is. For that reason, this love language works in my relationship with my best friend.

However, as much as friendship may be beneficial to many, to some extent, these relationships can be time-consuming, especially when there are no benefits got from it. In fact, most of the friendship relationships are just there to pass the time doing nothing. In such a relationship, you might find that what you like is not what your friend wants, and this can result in breakups. Once you disagree with a friend and decide to get to a relationship with another friend, you might have the feeling that the same thing might also happen in that relationship. Other friendships might lead to bad habits such as theft, taking illegal drugs, etc. Friendships are not useful if they involve receiving gifts. It is true when one party is not participating or not able to get gifts for the other partner, thus becoming a source of disappointment. Friendships are exploitative. Your friend might have formed the relationship to exploit you and get important things and ideas for his or her selfish gains.