Gender and Identity Issues
“Don’t dare to enter my house after 7.00 pm” was my father’s rule during my childhood days. Girls in my family were not allowed to go out past seven unless, when accompanied by my parents may be from a family function such as dinner. Should this rule apply to girls only? I never got an answer until when I completed high school because my only brother was never questioned even when he came back to the house after midnight. This discrimination did not apply only to me but to all girls within the neighborhoods, if not countrywide. Girls who were bold enough to stand against the injustices were physically punished but still resisted.
I remember my childhood friend, Amina, who was branded troublesome, resisted by running away from her home to seek refuge in a foreign Christian home. She had to mimic their way of life, including dressing code for her identity to remain undisclosed apart from the foster family. Even though she had all the freedom to do things her way, she never disrespected them. She could be back to the house not later than 8 pm, that is, if it ever happened. Whenever she was late, she honestly explained the reason for them. She was admitted to school, and her “parents” agreed with the school principal that her Muslim identity should continue to be hidden for security purposes.
Amina completed her high school education while her father never cared where she is or what happened to her. Whenever her mother started the topic, she was forced to shut up her mouth with two quick slaps. However, her brother, Karim, kept inquiring about her whereabouts, but the father kept telling him to be a “man” and not behave like a woman. Amina had now secured a job and was very hardworking. Everyone loved her because of the way she related to everyone in the community. One Saturday evening, she decided to go back home. “What I’m I seeing?” her mother asked. She was so happy to reunite with her daughter after 12 years. Her father, though very happy to see her, pretended to be harsh even though he appreciated her so much. He decided to be fair to all his children and organized to mend fences with her. He was on the frontline to educate the community on why girlchild should be treated differently and that they have right too. This made him become the new enemy of the people. Amina is now the breadwinner of her family.