Gyn/affection

Discrimination is an ever-present threat to gyn. “Gyn/affection” is a term that has been used to refer to the strong yet complex relationships between females (Raymond, n.d). My research on the claim has been done through readings such as Libra Bray’s “Beauty Queens” and my previous essay on female friendship narratives. Female friendships have widely been regarded, by females and males alike, to be the most open, honest, relationships in existence. The notion, to some extent, is true, as women have developed a sense of oneness with each other over the years due to the similar challenges that they all face in society. Discrimination, objectification, assault are only some of the multitudes of societal obstacles that women have had to encounter to enable them to fit in a society that holds men to a much higher regard, without proper reasons as to why. The shared struggles have brought up, within themselves, a bond strong enough to enable them to fight for their rights in an increasingly unfair world, and possibly acquire equal recognition as men in the current world.

“Gyn/affection”, however, has been threatened of late, potentially ruining this once beautiful, unconditional love shared by women. The destruction, though, is being carried out by none other than the women themselves. Women in an undying effort to get to the top have resorted to bringing down their fellow women who went through the same struggles to get there. Fame, wealth, recognition, and success have become of primary importance to them, overriding the once formidable unity that got them, as few as they may be, to the dizzy heights where they now soar. Most girls and women alike make extreme efforts to undermine the achievements of their peers and shame them in the name of tarnishing their reputation, with no apparently intention to gain from it. Females are also, nowadays, willing to risk their friendships with fellow females due to conflicting opinions on life, as was seen in my female friendship narrative.

In summary, Maeve was a girl I met in college with whom I developed a strong friendship. Our bond, at most times, felt natural, with us sharing encouragements during our hard times, confiding in each other on the most intimate details, and generally being happy with each other’s success. Maeve, however, seemed to develop a habit with time that, honestly, didn’t sit down well with me. He developed racist tendencies, though not directed towards me, as she would utter all sorts of lewd remarks towards black people in my presence. The habit came as a bit of a shock to me as I assumed she would know how I, being a black person, would take the matter sensitively. Her insults, though not directed my way, hurt me terribly as it exposed another side of her I never knew of, and wasn’t ready to accept, as they were a direct dig to people of my race, which brought doubts on how she talked about me behind my back. Opening up about my feelings to her, though, didn’t have the desired effect. Instead, she blew it off as me getting too uptight about a trivial issue. Our friendship was never the same since.

The story “Beauty Queens” focuses on a group of girls who are participating in a beauty pageant with two of them, Nicole and Shanti, being girls of color (Bray, 2011). The prospect of winning the pageant leads Shanti to develop a dislike towards Nicole, as they are the only two girls of color taking part in the competition, and Shanti believes that this brings about competition as only one of them can make it (Bray, 2011). The pageant did not embrace all races equally, which mostly nullified the chances of any black person winning it (Bray, 2011). The fact that Shanti, also, was willing to make an enemy out of Nicole for the sole reason of winning the pageant was a glaring example of how females opt to put each other down to pave their way to success. The fact, also, that only one black female ever won the said pageant was a clear indication of the racism that is prevalent. This has its close relation to what I experienced with Maeve, who, despite her denial of the fact, had become overly racist towards black people and, probably, towards me. Her ulterior motive, however, remains a mystery, but possibly could have been a dislike developed towards people of my race due to external influence from her other friends. She was an easily gullible character and could have easily been swayed to degrade black people. Another possibility could be a personal dislike she had towards me, which she didn’t acknowledge; hence she resorted to beating at my self-esteem for her satisfaction.

In hindsight, another obstacle to our friendship could have been our inability to communicate effectively about our feelings. I couldn’t air my feeling of discomfort towards her behavior, letting it escalate to a much larger scale, and hurting myself in the process. She, on the other hand, couldn’t deal with the fact that I was not happy with her ways, instead insulting me further. The experience has certainly changed me, socially, as it has bred a certain degree of apprehensiveness to any new friends I meet. I am generally reluctant towards getting too attached to people for fear of getting hurt like I was with Maeve. I will never truly know what her drive towards hurting me was, but it is abundantly clear that discrimination is a major obstacle in establishing lasting relationships among females.

References

Bray, L. (2011). Beauty Queens. n.p: Scholastic Press.

Raymond, J. (n.d). Gin/Affection and Hetero-relations. n.p: n.p.