my bones may heal from sticks and stones but not from words
“stick and stones may break my bones, but your words will never hurt me”! The childhood adage may be easily misinterpreted as people may look at the superficial meaning without carefully analyzing its deeper meaning. Thus, to make the saying clearer and easily understood, we could rewrite it to “my bones may heal from your sticks and stones but not from your words.” After rewriting, the adage gets a different meaning from the original. The original saying meant that words have no power to harm someone, but physical weapons like sticks and stones do. However, I feel the adage, and its interpretation overlooked some underlying issues. Physical injuries may be visible but heal fast, compared to the internal wounds which are invisible but would bleed forever, mainly if they ignored.
My rewritten adage goes, “my bones may heal from sticks and stones but not from words.’ It means that one can quickly recover from the physical pain inflicted on them but may never heal from the hurting words said to them. The hurt recurs because emotional pain mainly caused by words or torture without physical harm is subconscious and sticks in mind and heart. Thus, when one remembers the ordeal, they are hurt again by the words, especially the intention behind the words. For example, if you get a wrong answer to a question in class and the teacher canes you, you forget the pain fast and move on. On the other hand, if the teacher calls you stupid for getting the wrong answer to the question, this may remain in your mind and heart for the rest of your life. Some people may spend their entire life believing they are stupid.
If I meet someone for the firsts time, and he/she touches me frequently on the arms and shoulders during a conversation, I could derive different meanings beyond the mere touch. My interpretation would be; the person is ‘touchy’ because he/she is sexually attracted to me, but he/she is shy to say it. The second interpretation would be, maybe the person is uncomfortable with the other people because he/she is shy or just an introvert kind.
The first uncertainty reduction strategy I can use to understand the meaning intended by the ‘touchy’ person is by creating a virtual distance. Secondly, I can examine his/her body language, especially his facial expressions, to deduce the motivation of their behavior. Finally, I can seek information directly from him/her to understand the reason behind the touching.