parent-child relationship, attachment, and parenting theory

 parent-child relationship, attachment, and parenting theory

Introduction

Parenting is one of the most fulfilling jobs anyone would ever have. A parent-child relationship creates a unique bond enjoyed between the two, which in turn helps in nurturing the child’s emotional, social, and physical development. The relationship forms a foundation for a child’s overall behavior, life choices, as well as shape their personality. According to Bigner & Gerhardt (2018), parents play a significant role in the lives of children from the point of birth to adulthood. Parents are the first teachers that children learn from through observation, hearing, and playing. This was imminent, even in my case from childhood. I can authoritatively say that my parents have shaped my behavior, character, and personality from childhood. I am the person I am today because of their input in my life and guidance career-wise, health-wise, and behavior. Even though many theories explain the parent-child relationship, attachment, and parenting theory provides the perfect incentives for holistic development.

Part 1

According to Bigner & Gerhardt’s book on parent-child relation, various theories explain a child’s behavior and what shapes them into functioning adults. These theories include attachment and parenting theory and ecological systems theory. Others are parenting, family system theory, systemic family development theory, psychosocial development theory, and parenting, among others. All these theories have different concepts of how parenting affects a child’s behavior. Personally, attachment and parenting theory resonated with me the most because of the emotional attraction between my mother and I significantly contributes to how I relate with people (Bigner & Gerhardt 2018).

Attachment Theory and Parenting.

This theory was developed based on the works of two psychologists, namely, John Bowlby and Ainsworth, both from Britain and Canada, respectively. The theory is mainly centered on the maternal attachment to an infant. Additionally, it explains how maternal separation can affect the development of a child. According to this theory, those children who grow in the care of a consistent, reliable, loving and caring parents or caregivers, stand a better chance in developing a strong foundation of attachment and trust (Bigner & Gerhardt 2018). Likewise, they grow as well-adjusted adults who are able to form and handle a loving and trustworthy relationship. However, when an infant is deprived of maternal care and attachment, problems such as separation, anxiety starts to manifest in them. Therefore, it is highly preferred that within the first 2 years, an infant should receive constant care from the figure with a dominant attachment, which is the mother.

When infants or children are abandoned at a tender age, they definitely receive minimal attention and care from their caregivers. This leads to a lack of sufficient nurturing and inconsistent mothering hence the acute delay in infant development. These infants suffer from malnutrition, more so protein deficiency. Due to malnutrition, the children portray signs of psychological and emotional distress such as sleep problems, apathy, depression, and development retardation, among others (Bigner & Gerhardt 2018). Furthermore, the children may suffer from mental and physical illnesses due to a lack of interactional experiences from the caregivers. This theory clearly describes my upbringing because, during all my life since birth, I have had the privilege to experience the maternal attachment to date (Bigner & Gerhardt 2018).

Part 2.

There are numerous parental styles parents can use to instill whatever values they want their children to acquire. For instance, my parents exposed me to a parental style, whereby they acted as my first teachers. According to my parents, they are the most influential teachers in a child’s life. Therefore, parents are expected to teach and train their children the required knowledge and skills that can help them become functional adults in the future. Personally, I second their thoughts because their parenting style has made me a responsible person with moral values today.

It is very evident that a child’s first environment largely determines their behavior when they are grown. I appreciate the fact that children can access formal education in this 21st century. However, there are values, morals, and ethics such as emotional stability, interpersonal skills as well as social abilities that children learn from parents and their surrounding and not in learning institutions. Instilling good morals in a child is one of the best gifts a parent can offer his child. Although they can be overwhelmed at some point due to the economic, cultural, religion, and immigration pressure, parents have to be the first role models of their children and guide them appropriately. For instance, my parents taught me how to set my goals and objectives and how to achieve them in life as well as how to cope with my inter-personal skills.

In addition, apart from training and teaching me about life, they disciplined me appropriately whenever I misbehaved. This style of parenting helped in shaping behavior, as well. My parents were guided by an outside factor, which is our religion. We are Christians; hence, they helped me live a life imitating the holy life of Jesus Christ. I will definitely borrow these two parenting styles from my parents because I have seen their results, and I would like to be a good role model for my children in the future, just like what my parents did with me.

Conclusion

As far as the parent-child relationship is concerned, it can either ruin a child’s life or build their future relationships. For instance, if a child is raised with a violent parent, he or she may grow, knowing that violence is the only way to end their frustration. Likewise, this applies to a child raised with a drunkard; they may turn to be drunkards in their adulthood. Therefore, parents should take note that they play a critical role in an infant or a child’s tender life.