The Gifts of Imperfection

The Gifts of Imperfection

In the book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go Of Who You Think You’re Supposed To Be and Embrace Who You Are, Dr. Brene Brown talks about learning to love yourself just the way you are. Nobody is perfect or has everything all figured out 100% of the time. The title of the book itself suggests that imperfections are gifts of human nature and give us our identities. Happiness and contentment come from being able to accept who you are by letting go of the image of who you think you are supposed to be. She writes about how our lives as humans are molded by “struggle with shame and the fear of not being enough” and “the power of embracing imperfection and vulnerability” (Brown, 2010). If you strive for perfection, you will always think you are never good enough. “Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there’s no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal” (Brown, 2010). Brown stresses that self-love and loving others are important. “If we want to experience love and belonging fully, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging” (Brown, 2010). She also notes that true belonging, which involves being accepted for who you are, is different from fitting in, which necessitates you to change who you are (Brown, 2010). Imperfections make us stand out, and comparing yourself with others will force you to conform, and in the process, lose your uniqueness.

Embracing who you are doesn’t mean staying comfortable where you are. If you can change an aspect of your life, be it your habits or thought process, then, by all means, work on them till they change for the better. Strive for continuous learning and growth, believing that it is possible. Human beings are social and want to form connections with other people; hence it is more challenging to accomplish anything on your own. Even in the process of getting better, you will need to surround yourself with people that encourage you to be better. Dr. Brown outlines ten guideposts that would lead to living more wholeheartedly. They are; authenticity, meaningful work, the resilience of spirit, creativity, self-compassion, joy and gratitude, trusting faith and intuition, calm and stillness, play and rest, and laughter, song, and dance (Brown, 2010).

When the term wellness is used, many think it is just about being physically fit and healthy. But it goes far beyond that. Wellness has evolved to integrate six collaborative dimensions that complement one other to foster holistic well-being. “Wellness is an active process through which people become aware of, and make choices toward, a more successful existence” (National Wellness Institute, n.d). To achieve a balanced life, one needs to make conscious and well-directed changes so he can reach his full potential. The six main dimensions of wellness include: emotional, social, physical, spiritual, environmental, and intellectual (Norris, 2010). The ten guideposts in Dr. Brene’s work relate closely to these dimensions.

Emotional wellness is forming a healthy connection with your emotions by being conscious and comfortable with your feelings and thoughts. An emotionally healthy person can express their feelings and accommodate those of other people. Calm and stillness can help one control their reactions. Cultivating resilience gives us hope that we can make it through challenges without resulting in hopelessness and destructive tendencies. Authenticity also provides us with the courage to admit our imperfections and vulnerability, through honesty and truth. This courage helps us stay true to ourselves and others, thus fostering emotional wellness.

Social wellness involves healthy interactions with others. It is about being comfortable being yourself around others and forming positive connections. Laughter, song, and dance make one cheerful, which draws people. Self-compassion gives one the courage to be themselves while joy and gratitude bring about happiness. All these improve one’s social well-being as nobody enjoys the company of a person who is always ungrateful, unhappy, or insecure.

Physical wellness encompasses caring for your body by exercising regularly, eating nutritiously, avoiding habits that could be harmful to your body, and sleeping well. Brown recommends respecting the need for our bodies to re-energize through play and rest to avoid overfatigue.

Spiritual wellness comes through having a sense of value and purpose and being assured that a higher force is guiding us. Pursuing meaningful work can help one find their purpose in life and therefore achieve spiritual wellness. Trusting your intuition and faith can help you overcome even the toughest challenges and decide what is right or wrong.

Intellectual wellness entails being able to actively engage one’s mind in matters around you through learning and problem-solving, and fostering creativity challenges a person’s intellect so they can find new ways of handling situations and doing things. Creativity allows one to learn without the fear of failure truly.

Environmental wellness comes when one’s living, and working environment has no threats. It is about conserving nature and in obtaining personal contentment from our surroundings. The pursuit of meaningful work can involve activities that help preserve the environment, which will bring about environmental wellness.

References

Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are. Hazelden Publishing.

Kevin M. Norris (2010). Finding balance: 6 dimensions of wellness. Retrieved on February 11, 2020, from https://www.washingtonblade.com/2010/06/10/finding-balance-6-dimensions-of-wellness/

National Wellness Institute (n.d). The six dimensions of wellness. Retrieved on February 11, 2020, from https://www.nationalwellness.org/page/Six_Dimensions?&hhsearchterms=%22wellness+and+is+and+active+and+process+and+through+and+people%22