‘The Mask You Live In’
‘The Mask You Live In’ a movie that gives a clear reflection of the hyper-masculinity society that we live in, which unknowingly affects and hurts the boy child. For a long time, there has been a notion that has been around for generations that hinder a boy or a man from showing his emotions or being sensitive to things. In the society that a male is brought up in always reminds him that he is a man and should never show vulnerability by getting emotional or expressing his feelings. The film shows how men or boys are taught to bottle up their emotion which hurts them
I can relate to the scenarios in the movie where Steven tries to make his son into a man by telling him to be strong and not to cry because he is a man and men do not cry. I can relate to this part in the film as it is the same situation I went through with my father as I was growing up. Something that surprised me in the movie was the move by Ehrman teaching his boys empathy as it is not that something fathers do.
In Africa, particularly Kenya, there is a clear line that separates each gender and the role they should play in the family and the community at large. For instance, men are not allowed to fetch firewood, cook, do laundry, or babysit when the wife or a woman is around. And on the other hand, women are not allowed to ride bicycles or attend village elders’ meetings. Yes, some stereotypes can be applied globally, like the notion that men are strong and should not show empathy or get emotional. The U.S. differs from African societies on how they treat males as seen in the case of Ehrman, he teaches his boys empathy, but in African cultures, it never happens.
In my case, as a young man as an effect of my upbringing and the stereotypes that surround the male gender, it had forced me always to put on a metaphorical mask when in the society as I was brought up knowing that a man should be strong. The primary function of the cover is usually to hide my feelings and act tough around people. I can say that at times it serves its purpose, but other times it does not.
In my own opinion, healthy masculinity refers to ending the trend of putting on a mask and show the world the real you, which start by being sensitive to your environment and emotions. Healthy masculinity is a state where one avoids bottling up issues or emotions all the time but finds space or a person who he can share and talk to about his feeling. I think educating the parents about the importance of healthy masculinity is an important step I can take to change the attitude in society as it all starts with them.
The film and this week’s reading connects well and show how boys and mean have been neglected all because they seem strong than girls. The article by Michael Kimmel states that in today’s society, boys have a higher chance of being diagnosed with ADHD than girls; this is clear in the film as the character Steven struggles to show compassion and intimacy to his son Jackson which affects the boy emotionally. Today’s society should change their perspective of masculinity so that the boy child can be saved from stress and depression.