Getting an Apology from the Offender
“How I got an apology from my abuser” is an article talking about a lady, Laura, who was sexually abused by her stepdad over an extended period in her childhood years. Through the restorative justice system, she is explaining how she was able to meet her stepdad and given an apology from him. She explains how an individual, in this perspective, the victim (the one who got abused, victimized, offended) fights with emotions and tries to think how the offender (the abuser, one who committed the crime) is thinking in their mind. Whether they are fighting with emotions in prison, and whether they (offenders) could manage and say how they are feeling and thinking. From these questions that do not have answers that Laura decided to go and meet her stepdad since being sentenced in prison. Laura was victimized by the offender from the age of four until fourteen years, getting a four-year sentence in jail for pleading guilty to twelve counts of indecent assaults and gross indecency with a minor.
Laura wanted the offender to apologize in person, and know the effects of his acts in her life. Therefore, through participating in a restorative justice system, she learned the process where victims met their abuser’s and talked about the effects and impacts of the crime they (offenders) committed. The process prepared her psychologically, by keeping in touch with the community mental health nurse who ensured Laura met before and after meeting with the offender, her stepdad. These meetings ensure she was fully prepared to keep her safe incase she would have chosen to meet the offender in an unsafe location and arrangement. Hence, meetings were arranged in controlled environments in the presence or help of a facilitator to ensure the safety of both the offender and victims, and it takes time to manifest before an actual meeting between the victims and the offenders take place or occur.
It is believed that restorative justice reduces the frequency of re-committing the crimes by fourteen percent according to the government reports. It forms a significant part of the offender’s rehabilitation process, and the victim offers their apologies in return. Forgiving helps both parties not to live with anger, rage, and regrets in their future lives, ruining relationships and affecting their mental health. Everyone can move on with life in a significantly normal way after forgiving one another. That is the positive outcome of the system which has made the Restorative Justice Council to ask victims of crime to come out and meet their offenders to get healing, and forgiveness.
Whatever the offense, there is an alternative way to solve and mend the broken bridges of relationships in society. When there is a proper assessment, process, and determination of the suitable way to conduct the restorative justice process, then that is the right step to bring reconciliation, hope, peace, and healing to victims of crime and their offenders. Laura says an apology might be a single word, but it has a massive effect on one’s feelings, lifting the bad emotions and replacing them with better and relieved emotions. It is only the offenders themselves who can conclusively say why they committed the crime, offering apologies, and getting forgiveness in return. The end results are where an individual moves on with life and or says goodbye to both parties.