Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and Daughters

             The family unit has been conceptualized in several ways. Under each concept lies a fundamental idea about family structure and its function in society. First order tasks refer to the important business of the family that must be done and are familiar to all families. This paper will analyze the family concepts of coping and adaptability and the family system. The purpose of this paper is to explore the position of the child on the family systems and the resulting consequence on the family strategies. I will discuss a case scenario of two divorced parents with two children, Gail and Tom.

Gail and Tom are two divorced parents with two children. Gail has primary care for the children, and on the other hand, the father, Tom moves out and is living in another state. Gail is now dating and decides that it’s time to finally introduce her new boyfriend to her daughters Dina and Cara.  Gail is a divorced single mother in her late twenties. Her two daughters Cara, age 7 and Dina, age five still in school and currently well-adjusted to schedule and routine. Gail works as a full-time pharmacist. She becomes divorced from Tom after six years of marriage. The divorce was based on several difficulties forcing the required compromises of balancing career priorities and family.

The two children, Dina and Cara, are affected by the separation by the lack of fatherly love. They now see their father infrequently. Tom also cancels a few visits in the past year due to his workload and schedule. Tom prefers to visit the girls instead of having them come over where he resides. Dina also observes that Tom is emotionally distracted since he asks fewer questions about the girl’s wellbeing. She starts being cautious about having the girls meet better despite noticing how the girls are missing Peter. Two months ago, she started dating Peter. Peter manages a construction business and lives and works locally.  Gail relies on her siblings to care for her girls when she is away on weekends to see Peter. Gail has two siblings, a younger sister who has no children and an older brother with four children who live in the same town. The girls miss their mother over the weekend and do not whether their mum is dating. Gail after being confident about their relationship with Peter thinks of introducing him to the girls.

This case scenario is an example of the importance of fatherly love on the growth and development of girls. Tom is an absentee father who is primarily concerned with family finances. The daughters miss their father despite their mother’s cautious attitude towards Tom. Since Peter resides and works in the same area, he can be able to fill Tom’s gap in their life. It would be advisable for Gail to introduce Peter to the girls. Gail should be careful not to expect the girls to like Peter immediately. Dina and Cara seem to have liked their father; they will, therefore, undergo a transition stage after which they will be ready to accept Peter into their life as a father.

Some of the concepts that apply to this scenario are stress, coping and adaptability, and family systems and strategies. This scenario presents how stress affects family structure. The girls are trying to deal with the lack of visitation from their father. The lack of fatherly love is an example of normative stress. Gail also feels that the girls are missing their father; she is however concerned about Tom’s emotional distractions to the girls. Gail suspects that Tom may be dating and may be intentionally avoiding coming to meet the girls. The change in the family structure also has a stressful effect on the siblings. It is more likely that Gail will be leaving the girls with the brother who has four kids. The brother will have to consider how the presence of Dina and Cara would affect their current strategies of doing tasks.  This change may develop stress on the brother’s kids and the girls themselves. The girls are stressed about the absence of their mother over the weekend. The family roles will require to be adjusted. The family will be needed to portray an emotional climate to convey support and nurturance.

Adaptability describes the family’s response to necessary adjustments. Adaptability is essential when it comes to changes to the family structure. Here is a case where the girls are faced with two changes to their family system; their mother’s divorce from Tom and the imminent addition of Peter into the family. The girl’s reaction and adaptation to the mom’s new boyfriend may depend on Gail’s understanding of the girl’s needs and temperaments. This situation requires a strategic introduction of Peter into the girl’s lives. The girls are young and need stability and nurturing. Since their primary care was granted to their mother, the girls have lacked their fatherly nurturing. The introduction of Peter into the girl’s lives may provide this nurturing since he lives and works locally; therefore, he will be able to spend more time bonding with the girls. What were Gail’s motives in dating Peter (Love, provide a father figure for her daughters)? Adaptation helps create a healthy environment and an emotional climate focused on promoting emotional development.