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Ambitions

Here I am.

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Here I am.

We are seated at the rooftop of a building in this seedy neighborhood. My brother, brash and outspoken lad, and yours truly, who often has less to talk about save for the pages, happens to have kicked off our separate lives away from our folks in this damned city. Circumstances back at home couldn’t contain us anymore; we failed in urbanizing the place to suit our needs. Furthermore, we left campus for home and realized that we had outgrown most of our apparels, indicative enough that we were to get going. And that is how we ventured on this journey of learning to fend for ourselves as we shape up for rainy days.

So we are trying to unpack our bags of experiences and align them with the available survival apparatus as we bask in an atmosphere of nothingness presented to us by life. But then my bag seemingly has minimal experiences from which I can create a variety of options. So we concluded the little chat as I held on to the thought that I was still seeking clarity and was going to bid on time if it could give me some disclosure. Which when you come to think of, makes it sound like I was to look for clarity and have a one on one with it. However, the continuous flow of life has handed me some revelations which are not so friendly, yet they brought me to terms with the constant quest for meaning in life.

Clarity has presented itself to me as a non-stop pursuit; once you get a few minutes window of elation, another need arises from that moment, and then I still got to be on tracks looking for a solution to the need at hand. As Margaret Ogola puts it, “Life is a puzzle and a mystery, and the human mind spends it in yearning for what it knows not yet search it must.” And in this regard, there has been a constant wave of energy coming my way, which I have ignored for long till I decided to move along with the tide. I’m harnessing from the need to give literary touch to experiences we revel in as we go through life and hopefully avail something palatable at the table of art. Probably my attempt at serving art to the time I decided to bid onto.

Playing along with my cards on my chest has felt safe for a more significant part of my life. But I have been reduced to living a day at a time with ambitions far off the beaten track. To give little satisfaction to my soul, I am rocking this boat and let it sail once in a while to where it needs to go if I can eventually attain something fair about enough; seek clarity.  So yeah, this is where I am at, learning to do much with the few experiences I harbor.

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Hi, my name is Jenn 👋

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