A Priest in the Family

A Priest in the Family

At first glance, the Irish short story “A priest in the family” by Colm Toibin appears like just another ordinary short story about a lonely old lady. However, the story turns out to be a perfect one at the end. The author narrates the consequences that a family has to face after one of their members, a priest, is exposed as a child molester. The story shows how the family has to cope with the news that the holiest one among them was actually the darkest of them all. They are subjected to stigmatization by the community after everyone hears about the news about child molestation.

The author wants to tell about the situation of the Irish Catholic church and the scandals that the church was involved in during the 1950s. The issue of sexual abuse of young boys, often altar boys, by the priests was becoming a frequently occurring issue in the Catholic Church (Koetsenruijter et al. 2017).  “‘ Abuse?’ She said the word which was daily in the newspapers and on the television, as pictures appeared of priests with their anoraks over their heads, so that no one would recognize them, being led from courthouses in handcuffs.” (Tóibín 2007)  The author highlights here that this was not the first and only case of sexual abuse by catholic priests.

The theme of Catholicism and struggle with sexuality by catholic priests is brought out by the author.  The description of how the molestation happened allows for the development of the argument that it is important for those training to be priests to undergo extensive training on sexuality and how to control their sexual urges.  ‘No,’ he said, ‘in the school. It was a good while ago. It was when he was teaching.’ (Toibin 2007). The priest here was referring to when the incident happened. The incident occurred a long time ago when the priest was still young and new to the priesthood and had not learned to control his sexual urges. One would argue that extensive training on the same would have probably helped avoid the case. .

Although the author talks about the issues of sexual abuse and Catholic priests’ struggle with sexuality, his focus on family relationships cannot be overlooked. The story covers the family of the culprit rather than the culprit himself. The author tells how the family of the culprit priest feels after learning the news and how they are affected by the news. It is clear that they all loved him, and although they accept acknowledge his offenses are unforgivable, they still feel sad for him. “When a car pulled up outside, she knew that it would be the girls, her daughters.”’ This text from the article shows how close the family was that they wanted to spend time together after learning the news.

The story is centered on Molly, Frank’s mother. The author follows Molly’s character throughout the story. The relationship between mothers and sons is undoubtedly one of the major themes in this short story. Molly and her son Frank have a very close relationship. She loves her son so much she is very alarmed when he stays for a while without visiting. Like all mothers, she likes to see the good in her son as the author describes: “But I’ve to be careful what to say in front of Frank, he’s very holy. He got that from his father. It’s nice having a son a priest who’s very holy” (Tóibín 2007). Molly’s belief in her son’s goodness is a clear indication of the close relationship mothers have with their son.

Towards the end of the story, Frank finally does visit his mother, a visit his mother had been waiting for. Though they did not talk much, more so about the issue of sexual abuse, it is clear that there is no love lost between mother and son. When the author writes, “’ Well, you’re here now, and it’s nice to see you,’ she replied.”  (Tóibín 2007)He tries to show that the mother, though hurt by the news about her son, was still willing to forgive him and was glad to see him. The ordeal is a sad one, especially for Molly, since she knows her son will be going to prison soon.

Still focusing on family relationships, the narrator highlights the consequences that the family faces due to the actions of a member. Molly and her family have to deal with the social stigma and embarrassment brought about by Frank’s action. The narrator wants the reader to grasp the notion that one’s action does not only affect him but also those around them, especially their loved ones. Frank will no doubt end in jail, but his family also ends up sharing in his embarrassment and social ridicule. “I know. They look at me wondering how to get by me quickly enough in case I might bite them, or I don’t know what” (Tóibín 2007).  Here the writer shows how the issue of stigmatization on the family.

Other than stigmatization, the family members also suffer embarrassment in public and are unsure of themselves when in public. Molly is specifically affected by this, and the narrator clearly shows this in the story when the writes, “She was unsure what a glance or a greeting disguised, and she was careful, once she had left her own house, never to turn too sharply or look too closely in case she saw them whispering about her. A few times, when people stopped briefly to talk to her, she was unsure if they knew about her son’s disgrace, or if they too had become so skilled at the plain language of small talk that they could conceal every thought from her, every sign, as she could from them.”

A priest in the family is simply a story of a mother facing the disgrace and embarrassment of her son’s doings. No one is sure of how to break the news to her. Neither her friends nor family is sure on how to tell her that the son she loves so much is a pedophile. The story is also centered around other themes like Catholicism and the struggle with sexuality as well as child molestation and sexual abuse in the Catholic Church.

References

Koetsenruijter, A. W. M., Burger, J. P., & Vine, E. (2017). Institutional Failure or Individual Perversity? Framing Church Abuse in the News in Four European Countries. Rhetoric and Communications, 29.

The Reading Life “A Priest in the Family” by Colm Toibin (2014): http://rereadinglives.blogspot.com/2012/04/priest-in-family-by-colm-toibin.html

Tóibín, C. (2007). A Priest in the Family. Mothers and Sons, 133-151.