Arranged Marriages Vs. Love Marriages

Arranged Marriages Vs. Love Marriages

Introduction

The debate on arranged marriages versus love marriages has raged on for decade and as from the time that the notion of marrying for love becomes a common practice in the society. Within the contemporary society, there has been a growing observation that the arranged marriages have given away to the love marriages as a result of the fast changing levels of education of the population, as well as the increment in the aptitude for women to exercise choice with regards to relationships and marriage. On the other hand, the arranged marriages have also been observed as a key failure on the woman or the man’s part to individually find their marriage partner. This, therefore, raises questions on the implication of two types of marriages.

According to Middlemiss (2017) love marriage refers to a situation in which two persons opt to marry for the benefit of love as opposed to basing their marriage of aspects such as religion, familial background, caste, economic background and social status amongst others that are entailed in match making. Still, Allendorf and Pandian (2016) defines arranged marriage as a situation in which two persons willingly opt to marry on the basis of recommendations by friends and family members, whose choice is founded on the aspects of economic background, familial ties, religion, cases and social status amongst other factors. Nevertheless, it is worth observing that not every forced marriage is an arranged marriage. This paper has, therefore, been written with the objective of comparing love marriage and arranged marriage.

Comparison between Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage

In reviewing the differences that exist between love marriages and arranged marriages, Middlemiss (2017) asserts that the divergence lies in the time that two people fall in love; thus, either before or after marriage. Therefore, in relation to love marriage, one goes into a relations hip with the full knowledge of what he or she wants while in an arranged marriage, an individual gets into a marriage with the hops that he or she made the apt choice. Nevertheless, both the arranged marriage and love marriage have a number of similarities.

Regardless of the manner in which and the instances that one finds love, any marriage that is successful calls for plenty of compassion, selflessness, empathy, flexibility and sacrifice in order to succeed. Love may also develop with time and might also fade away. Moreover, the success of any marriage regardless of whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage is dependent on the couples’ willingness to make it through the marriage life’s ups and downs along with the availability of a supportive milieu.

To fully understand the differences in arranged marriages and love marriage, there is a need to break down the processes involved in getting marriage into three major phases, namely; finding the apt prospective match, short-listing the individual for marriage, and the post-marriage support. In relation to finding the apt prospective matches, in arranged marriages, in finding that apt individuals to assess one’s options, the family and friends are tasked with assessing the prospective matches (Pande, 2015). However, one does not have any control on the criteria used in the selection of potential partners for the individuals. Habitually, they tend to use parameters that include religion, family background, case and income amongst others. Though such factors are vital, they might not imply long-term happiness. Moreover, women are always on the receiving end with regards to arranged marriage processes. For instance, in forced marriages, which might be a type of arranged marriage, the woman’s dream may be cut short as she concentrates on her marriage (Allendorf & Pandian, 2016). Consequently, in love marriages, one makes the choice of the person he/she would like to marry, and the process is left to the individual. Amongst the notable advantages of love marriage regards the observation that one is free to choose and pick the persons he/she deems fit.

With regards to the shortlisting of the individual to marry, it can be observed that in arranged marriages, it can be noted that on identification of the prospective matches, arranged marriage procedure shifts to the tiresome process of getting the apt persons, and entails the weird arranged initial meetings (Middlemiss, 2017). An advantage of arranged marriage regards the view that it enables the individuals to concentrate on the objective facts, even as there is the dearth of emotions in the process. This assists in the making of apt decisions. Consequently, in love marriages, one is prone to interact with the prospective partner before marriage. This enables the couple to understand one another’s interests, behaviors and likes before marriage, and making decisions to marry or not based on such findings. However, the couple may face the challenge of dearth of objectivity (Pande, 2015).

Lastly, with regards to the post marriage support, it can be noted that in arranged marriage settings, the marriage occurs as a result of the role played by one’s family or friends in the process of decision making. As a result, the friends and family tend to play a role in the success of the marriage and this makes the arranged marriages to have advantages over the love marriages with regards to post-marriage support (Allendorf & Pandian, 2016). On the other hand, with regards to love marriages, it can be noted that the couples tend to lead life that is to some degree independent of family and friends, and are free to opt for a lifestyle that is working for them. They do not have to conform to the expectations, customs and the rituals of their extended families.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it can be observed that arranged marriages refer to the marriages that are arranged by individuals other than the couple getting married. Love marriages, on the other hand, refer to marriages that are arranged by the couples involved in the marriage. Dissimilar to the love marriages, the arranged marriages come out as more stable. Further, in the arranged marriages, the two individuals getting married have to get their parents and families’ consents, while in love marriages, the individuals getting married do not require their parents consent.

References

Allendorf, K., & Pandian, R. K. (2016). The decline of arranged marriage? Marital change and     continuity in India. Population and development review, 42(3), 435-464.

Middlemiss, L. (2017). Marriage, love, caste and kinship support: Lived experiences of the            urban poor in India. Routledge.

Pande, R. (2015). ‘I arranged my own marriage’: arranged marriages and post-colonial feminism. Gender, Place & Culture, 22(2), 172-187