black leggings or blue jeans
When I read the instruction for this assignment, it made me anxious and challenged because I could get negative reactions. Knowing myself, my initial feeling that I would feel uncomfortable about the whole scenario, but then thought it’s only temporary – an experiment. My emotion was diverted while planning what to alter about me.
I normally dress simple: black leggings or blue jeans most of the time, neutral coloured top, either a long sleep or a t-shirt with a cardigan over in colder months. I don’t ware shimmering jewellery except for a pair of pearl earrings and my silver wedding ring which I wear all the time. For my everyday make-up routine, I prefer natural look. I use a mauve coloured lipstick and a peachy light blush-on that suits my complexion. I wear a classic black frame glasses with blue light blocking lenses. My waist long black hair with ash blond highlight is always straight, or I ponytail. In work I wear saggy scrubs and black pants most of the time. I thought it would be a good idea to visit my workplace on weekdays since my co-workers don’t see me in my casual clothes, but I would dress differently or something eye-catching.
On that day of the experiment, I loosely curled my hair, put on my make up with medium coverage foundation, highting and counter, blush-on, applied a red velvet lipstick, some eye shadow for a smokey cat eye, curled my eyelashes and finally applied a fake pair of eye-lashes. I didn’t ware my glasses. I was thinking about a classic but elegant look. Not sure how I looked over all for others, but I thought I did a great job for altering my appearance.
It was Friday afternoon, all the staff were in work including my boss, the front office staff, and the support services. I entered the foyer and the first people I encountered was a group of support services staff having their coffee break. They saw me and their face looked puzzled for a second. I remember how I was trying to see everyone’s facial reaction. I felt that they were all staring at me. I became self-conscious. In a few second, somebody waved and said “Hi, how are you?” and I responded in return. Also, another lady noticed my orange coat and complimenting “I like your coat”. Even though one of them gave her compliments, I still felt uncomfortable. I thought I had to react normal although I was imagining that they were laughing and talking about my appearance behind my back, or they could be thinking that I overly dressed, that I looked like a clown. I had to shut down that thought, and I moved on. I said my goodbyes and left right away.
Before I had reached the nursing office, I took off my orange coat and there I heard my manager sounding very happy to see me “Hi Ann, you look so pretty, it’s nice to see you guys not in your scrubs”, “ I like your boots” and she repeated “you look so different”. I had to explain the purpose of my visit was to just quickly get a request form and whereabouts I was heading to on that day – to have a Valentines date with my husband and my mom. After a brief conversation with the manager, I headed to the unit where I work and there, I found three more of my co-workers. I showed up and all looked at me from head to toes, smiling, looked happy to see me and one greeted me “Happy Valentine’s Day!” then just like how I imagine that these guys would give compliments. One of them stated “I love your wavy hair, did you do it yourself?”, “You should always apply makeup, the lippie looks nice on you”, and “I like your boots, your blouse”. One asked me if “how come you’re wearing black it’s Valentines Day”, “Are you going on a date”. These people had increased my self-confidence. I left work with the confirmation that I looked good and nothing to worry about. I was only over thinking.
This experiment had an effect on me on that particular moment as I imagined that workers whom I was not very good friends with probably had criticized how I looked because they are somewhat strangers to me. They see me regularly, but don’t know me personally. when I was surrounded with strangers. I think I didn’t react naturally because I was paying so much attention to my surroundings. I thought I did my best not to feel “uncomfortable” when I changed my appearance, but I was wrong. I became self-conscious and paranoid of my appearance. That emotions that I initially perceived happened, but I managed to cope with it eventually.