Essay Scoring- Ownership

Essay Scoring- Ownership

Essay 1 score

Thesis- 1

Evidence and commentary- 3

Sophistication- 1

The student has started their work by clearly defining the subject matter of their essay i.e., what ownership is, thereby enabling the reader to understand what the paper will be addressing clearly.  This is an essential initial step in the writing process as this allows the writer to introduce the reader or the intended audience to what the material they are reading pertains to. In the evidence and commentary region, the student has managed to present a well-developed essay that has a sequential flow of ideas using clear and concise language without a lot of technical jargon. The writer has also led to exhibit a good mastery of the subject matter and has also used bright and vivid examples to help the reader understand the topic at hand better. Besides this, the students also included a thesis statement in their work stating, “Therefore, ownership is a way of showing success in life, and it is what people do with their ownership that determines the good and the bad.” This helps to summarize the content of the work and what is expected in the reading.

Essay 2 score

Thesis- 1

Evidence and commentary- 2

Sophistication- 0

A thesis statement has been provided for the above essay stating, “While the thought of theft and how the United States defines it is a hallmark for considering ownership, ownership is a socially constructed idea that inherently harms the self.” This, therefore, helps the student to express themselves to the reader on their stand regarding the topic at hand. The student has a clear mastery of the subject, but his delivery is quite wanting.  Instead of starting the essay with a brief description of the ownership and what it entails, the student has gone directly into the topic, making assumptions that the reader already knows what the subject matter of the essay entails.  As a result, this lowers the quality of the student’s work, given that the reader is forced to read more of the essay to determine what major issue the essay is addressing. The delivery of the work is also waning, and the essay lacks a proper thought development process. For instance, the student defines the subject matter of the essay in the second paragraph rather than in the first paragraph..

Essay 3 score

Thesis- 0

Evidence and commentary- 3

Sophistication- 1

While the student exhibits a high level of complexity, which can be seen in the amount of external literature that he has borrowed his ideas from, such as great philosophers like Aristotle, the development of the essay is entirely wanting.

To begin with, there is no thesis statement for the above work; thereby, the student fails to present the reader with what their opinion is regarding the subject matter. As a result, the reader is forced to read through the essay, trying to determine what side of the argument the student supports. However, concerning the evidence and commentary, the student has exhibited a good understanding of the content and has used various literature references to support their claims.  As a result, this makes their work a credible source of information as it is supported by factual evidence as well as information. However, the student has failed in the conclusive bit of the essay. This is because, instead of coming up with a summary of their thoughts on the topic as well as taking a stand on either side of the topical approach, the students continue with the argument to the very last bit of the essay.

Essay 4 score

Thesis- 0

Evidence and commentary- 2

Sophistication- 0.5

The student has exhibited a good organizational structure in the essay where they have started by defining the concept of ownership from their understanding as well as the role that ownership plays in society. However, the student failed to score the mark for the thesis as their essay lacks a thesis statement. The last sentence in the introductory paragraph states that “However, neither stance is entirely true, ownership is instead a tangible representation of one’s sense of self.” This is in itself still an argument of the main idea rather than a summative statement that encompasses the student’s idea as well as an opinion regarding the central idea in the essay. However, the student has exhibited an average mastery level of the content. Although the essay lacks sufficient supporting evidence, they have still managed to use a clear and simple approach to deliver, which makes the essay a possible read for a wider group of audience due to the little literacy skills required to comprehend the information contained herein.

Essay 5 score

Thesis- 1

Evidence and commentary- 2

Sophistication- 0.5

The student begins the essay on a high note by relating the subject matter to humanneeds and wants, which is a critical aspect of the assignment. After making this critical relation, the student has continued and provided a clear thesis statement saying, “Ownership itself is not inherently evil; it is the desire for ownership and the lengths at which humans will go, that harms the self.” This way, the writer enables the reader to understand their opinion and the stand they take in the essay. As a result, as the reader goes through the essay, they are looking for evidence supporting the thesis statement provided above. Concerning the evidence and commentary, the student has managed to give clear examples as to why ownership may be viewed as a vice among human beings citing examples such as slavery, which provoke the readers’ mind to come to terms with the subject matter in real-life situations. However, the sophistication is just average, thereby making the work satisfactory but lacking the awe!! Factor.

Essay 6 score

Thesis- 0

Evidence and commentary- 1

Sophistication- 0.5

This student goes directly into addressing the subject matter of the essay without providing the reader with a summary of what the essay entails. The essay also lacks a thesis statement, and therefore the stand of the student on the topic at hand remains unknown this making the essay a read that is not much engaging.  This is because, through the thesis statement, the writer gives their stand, and throughout the essay, the reader tries to assess the writer’s support to his claims in the thesis.

On the other hand, the evidence and commentary of the student are lacking, and the essay appears like a comparison of ideas put together side by side. This, therefore, makes the essay an average read as it cannot spark the reader’s engagement. However, the student has managed to provide a satisfactory conclusion in which they sum up the main ideas helping the reader to understand their take in the subject matter.

References

Marzano, R. J., & Arthur, S. (1977). Teacher Comments on Student Essays: It Doesn’t Matter What You Say.