I Love Yous Are for White People
Introduction
Luc San was a young man trapped in a world which did not seem ready for him. His family ran from the war in its home country only to end up in poverty in the US. The young man struggled in school and thus suffered the wrath of his demanding father. He faced emotional, physical and sexual abuse and still remained stoic. The paper interrogates his struggles and how he overcame them. It also delves into how the said events shaped who he became. Luc San sought and found an anchor in his culture after struggling to find his place in the world.
Challenge Overcome
Above all things, Luc San sought to establish a sense of self and cement his position in society. He is a young man who does not have a sense of history primarily because his father wants to look forward and not back. All he hears about his country is negative, and yet he is supposed to love his culture in the United States. At the same time, the young man is constantly insulted and beaten by his father. He is so distressed that he says, ““Striving to meet my father’s expectations is like climbing out of quicksand: the harder I try to get to the top, the more I’m sucked back down by his unrelenting criticism.” These must-have robbed him of the approval one needs to have a healthy self-identity. The young man did not know who he was because the people in his life refused to show him.
A sense of belonging is also critical for any social animal, and human beings are most definitely social animals. One sees the young man trying to find his niche at home and failing because his father is more focused on discipline than on love. He also fails to find a sense of belonging in his people, and that is why he seeks out friends from another racial group. He tries to fit into groups where no one looks like him because he has failed to fit into those where everyone does look like him. It is a challenge for most of the story.
How it Shaped his Journey
First of all, the struggle made him more insular than he otherwise would be. This was a young man who was locked in an apartment for days on end. He was also a person who did not have anyone to talk to. He explains that the long periods of isolation kept inside his own brain. When he tried to express himself, his father asked him if white people had taught him, “To say stupid things and stand there crying like a girl? If you love me, show me. … Words are useless – they do nothing but piss me off.” The interesting part is that even when he left the apartment, there was no one with whom he could really be free. He was trapped in his loneliness, and this made him quite introspective. He even remarked, “things feel safe here–neutered and sterile, but safe–like the whole place is devoid of passion and self-interest.” It is probably why he eventually became a writer.
The struggles also made him extremely independent and made him able to chart his own path in life. He learned quite early that he could not really trust anyone to take care of him. In his anguish he thinks, “”They think I’m a slow learner. They never think about how lonely I am in America. They’re oblivious to the recurring nightmares I have of our escape from Vietnam.” Added to that, his cousin abused him sexually with his mother’s knowledge and the abuser was never punished. Lac Sun saw betrayal in his mother, and he came to learn that no one could be trusted. It was why he was so street smart but at the same time, emotionally vulnerable. He came to know enough to be wary of the world, but not enough for him to heal himself.
Finally, the struggles created a man who was in deep need of an identity. At home, he did not really have an identity. He was not as smart as the other Asians his father knew, and that made the young man less of an Asian than his peers. Additionally, he was not really a full member of the gangs he joined. The young men in the gangs barely tolerated him and his exoticness. The yearning for identity is what pushed him to travel to Vietnam. He did not know how to define himself, so he turned to his culture.
Ways he Overcame
One of the ways the young man overcame his challenges was by rebelling. He found that he could defy his father and be free to do as he wanted. He used defiance to choose his own social group, and that seems to have helped him quite a lot. The young man also learned to trust himself. He became insular and in the process acquired unique coping skills. Finally, he sought out his roots and culture. He believed that there was something in his Vietnamese culture, which would right the listing ship that was his life. The peace he felt on going back to Vietnam proved that he was right.
Conclusion
Luc San struggles to define himself and find a sense of belonging. His father is abusive, so he does not identify with the older man or his culture. He also feels that he cannot socialize with his cultural peers. He overcomes the challenges by rebelling and trying to find himself. That said, the struggles change him into an introspective young man whose focus is on finding himself. He is so focused on that goal that he defies his father and goes back to Vietnam.