my proposal day

It was December without any snow, a damp Saturday evening. I was sitting in my chair and reading. Eventually, I decided to get some fresh air. The city center was 30 minutes away – a great place to wander around. Lights, people, cigarette smoke, and a variety of noises, that’s all I wanted then. I’m addicted to caffeine, so I took a cup of coffee with myself once I got there.

Sooner or later, I’d begun feeling bored with my surroundings, and this is when I met my old fellow Vlad. Or better say, he met me.

That happened when I’d been staring at a strange cat who was missing an eye. The cat was trying to sneak in a butcher’s store. He was t kind of a creature you would never want to pet when you see. I mean, being almost bald and probably fulfilled with a broad spectrum of diseases doesn’t bring you a lot of popularity.

Vlad had come up from behind, and as usual, punched me in the arm to draw my attention. I was surprised to see him for a long time. “I thought you were dead, lucky to see you, old sport,” and after embracing, he added, “You don’t look healthy, do you?” “No worries, I’m fine,” I said, smirking. Vlad was my old-good friend from the school, at least that’s what he thought. As I remember, we didn’t hang out much back in the days; the only thing we had in common was that we both played football for the same team. And after graduating, I’d never heard a word from him, but to this day.

“Are you busy?” “No, not really.” “Well, you’ll keep me company then. C’mon, I know one place where we can chat and shit” After that, I’d just followed him like he was a leader of my pack, no asking where; it didn’t matter though.

my proposal day

Afterward, we came to the pub (what a surprise). Where was the facility? What about the facade? I believe those details were umbraged in my memory once we came inside. At first glance, it seemed to be a microcosm for everyone who wanted to show their personality through their appearance — the place for young and lost individuals this how I’d advertise it. Almost everyone had their hair crazy-colored. The barman wasn’t an exception, about 21 and already with ashed-hair, piercing, tattoos, and everything else considered to be edgy in some way.

As soon as we came in, I stepped back suddenly when a drunk girl with tattoos on her cheeks (those looked permanent) tried to kiss me. Fortunately, she was pulled away by a girl from her squad. The drunk mumbled something, but I missed it. “It’s a stronghold of Christianity, so don’t act silly,” he explained. “I gotcha,” I said. Frankly speaking, I did not.

Not to mention, there were a lot of crazy artifacts all around. For instance, a big statue of a naked boy stood near the counter, which was peeing a red liquid. Also hard not to notice a big fat crocodile wearing a jacket lying down on a wall near seats. Even the music was a bit peculiar, not casual for its genre. Must admit, everything had its charm.

We sat down on the second floor — at the table with a view on the entrance door. The bar was beneath us, so Vlad went down to take some beer and snacks. The conversation wasn’t going on well in the beginning. Still, after getting a little bit fuzzy, he started telling me about his career path, travelings, his recent broke up, and that how beachy his ex was, those kinds of stories. “Have you ever been to Portugal?” he asked after struggling to finish the sentence. “Well, yes. I’ve been there once… 5 years ago to be precise; I got lucky to study there for a while.” “Then you must know about saudade.”

Of course, I knew about it. “And so?” I replied. “I guess I’ve recently been under this damn thing.” “Really?” “Yeah, it was Braga, and I must admit, I’ve never felt anything like that before, and I couldn’t even name it… You feel me?” “Sort of” “At the time, I was with my girlfri…ex now. She didn’t wanna go to Braga, told me that my work was only my business, and she was not going to anticipate. So I end up there for two weeks, for two lonely weeks. My company had paid my bills, from the hotel to the plane. The only mission I had was to find new investors who’d like to, what a surprise, invest. But between all of those endless conferences and parties, I had some spare time, which I’d been killing mainly by walking near banks and throwing rocks into the sea.” “Sounds like so much fun” “It was fun, indeed. But I also got this weard melanholic preoccupation. My work didn’t interes me that much; instead, inside my head, I kept going back to my childhood memories, thinking about my parents and old friends. I was asking myself a ton of questions, to which I struggled to find the answers. What has happened to my dog when I left home? Where are my folks now? Well, you understand what I mean…” I nodded. “Did you come to any conclusions?” I asked him after a small pause to remain the conversation. “Hmm…The only thing I’d understood was that I needed somehow to connect with my first love. I know what you may think, it sounds kinda silly, but that’s what I need to do right now.” “I’m not gonna laugh at you, don’t bother.” “Thanks, old sport.” he smiled and continued, “Thus why I arrived in the city, to find her. You know, six years passed by since we last met, and I still feel sorry about how it ended. I know, I’m not going to fix the past, that’s obviously impossible, but at least I’ll try to smooth things up, and hopefully, it will bring me that inner relief feeling.” “Why didn’t you just message her?” “Trust me; it wasn’t an option. I must talk to her in person, that’s the only way I see it.” After some time, we’d decided to share contacts and soon shook hands, then both of us took their directions to what we now call home. And then laying down in bed just before falling asleep, I remembered this word once again. Saudade… what a weird feeling, though.