Reflection on I-Statement
| Escaping Responsibility
| Taking Responsibility
|
| 1. I think we are partners in this house so, we should share responsibilities.
| I prefer individual responsibility because it enables me to avoid errors and make improvements.
|
| 1. I feel frustrated when I am expected to be liable for every action that takes place here.
| I feel good when I have several responsibilities because it unlocks my potential
|
| 2. I imagine the responsibilities are too much for me.
| I imagine that being individually responsible shows that I am trusted with the tasks.
|
| 2. I need to be held responsible only for what I directly deal with
| I need to be added as many responsibilities as possible. |
| 3. I will be responsible for what I am directly answerable to.
| I want to be given more tasks to test my capabilities.
|
| 4. I promise to do everything perfectly well if my responsibilities are reduced.
| I am sure I will be able to handle the responsibilities effectively.
|
| 5. In case I get a few responsibilities, I will be able to perform pretty well.
| I welcome challenges and responsibilities.
|
“I-statement is quite significant in ensuring that other people are not blamed for our responsibilities and further provides a compassionate way to communicate. It depicts personal accountability and avoids blaming others for what one feels. I-statement helps in expressing feelings which makes it be more like an “I-feel statement.” The statement can be used to specific emotions such as loneliness, annoyance or even mistreatment, but it avoids words that may seem like emotions.
What makes “I-Statements” even more impressive is the fact that they can be used to avoid quarrels or fights with partners. It offers the best way of dealing with people when overwhelmed by emotions. The sure way of preventing confrontational situations with loved ones or colleagues at work is through the effective use of “I-statements.” Lashing out at people is likely to raise unnecessary confrontations that may lead to fights, divorce, separation or even injuries hence the need to avoid it altogether. The statement is useful in shifting blames and attributions away from the listeners thus encouraging positive conversation or dialogue. When individuals can be talked to without blaming them even if they are the cause of the problem, they are likely to avoid being defensive. Talking using an assertive tone may help a speaker to take responsibility for own feelings without attributing thoughts which may sometimes be unfair to the listener. In that regard, the “I” statement promotes positive communication among individuals, particularly in a relationship. It should, therefore, be embraced by all parties because it fosters honesty and grows emotional closeness.
“I” statements can be used as a therapy, particularly in marital counselling because of attachment issues involved. In a relationship, there exist underlying feelings that can be adequately addressed through the “I” statements because couples can work out their disagreements. There can never live a further strain on a relationship hence making it vital in family counselling because there is no action that is singled out for blame. For example, a wife may tell the husband, “I do not feel good when you come home late.” Such a statement may not hurt the husband who in turn, may not be happy with the action of going home late. As a professional marriage counsellor, using “I” statement may be a useful therapy that can be applied in almost any situation or challenge that affects marriages and relationships. In future, “I” statement can be used to solve several problems in relationships and even in the formal office settings. Communities should, therefore, embrace this kind of report to foster peace and harmony. In fact, future relationships’ success will also depend on the use of “I” statements. Considering the importance of communication in any relationship, the use of “I” statement will enhance communication among partners. Issues that may raise conflict are avoided, and communication is made assertively. When used as a therapy, marriage counsellors will have an easy time solving their clients’ issues and even advising partners to prevent future conflict.
In essence, “I” statements can help to communicate with others even during challenging moments such as when an individual is upset. It, therefore, calms people down by explaining their feelings towards others without upsetting them. Taking responsibility for one’s beliefs is quite useful because it does not arouse conflict by blaming others. It is also a way of expressing non-verbal behaviours which can also be used while communicating with others. “I” statements can, therefore, enable people to effectively use nonverbal actions even when upset in a way that the other parties understand the message. The future of relationships will, thus, be improved immensely if the “I” statement concept is embraced. No single action in a relationship will ever affect a family that embraces the effective use of “I” statements. If counsellors can well explain how the concept is applied, marriages and relationships will flourish. It is, therefore, upon the professionals to effectively use the idea.