The choice of having kids and when to have them

The choice of having kids and when to have them

The choice of having kids and when to have them is a private matter (at least it should be). It is a question that is usually asked, especially during family gatherings. Maybe an aunt here is concerned that children born in old age are slow or unhealthy (studies on this show mixed results). A neighbor there wants fodder for gossip or a parent who wants grandchildren.

Answering this question requires tact at times and directness in some instances. It is particularly hurtful if you are a couple struggling with infertility.

First, you can use the tactful strategy of asking a question to answer their question. It is especially useful if the person is a stranger or not well-acquainted. For instance, tell them you are inexperienced and ask them how the baby-making process works.

“We just did it in your bedroom a few moments ago. Let’s see how it turns out in 9 months.” You can make light of the situation and embarrass them, especially if you are at their house.

Making people uncomfortable is the best tactic. And if you are bold enough, you can always allude to your private or sex life to deflect questions. “We only do anal” or “We have always been the best at what we do. We never fail to make it to the top 10%. And you know what 15% of couples are infertile.” “It seems my boys aren’t swimmers after all. Swimming lessons might help.”

Of course, the sassy comments help against prying people. But what happens when it comes to your parents or concerned siblings? It may be time to come clean if you have a low sperm count. Bottling up such problems can lead to stress, which worsens the situation. And some people find it helpful if they share their issues.

If you come from a supportive family sharing the problem may result in a psychological and financial boost.